Up from the Ashes, Grow the Roses of Success

I've had many failed dreams. Sometimes I get afraid to dream again for fear of another failure. I'm convinced it is my faith that helps me get up and dream again. Perhaps with a bit more wisdom and experience to apply to the next dream, or even better... to share with another dreamer.

Loss of dreams. It happens. The question is, "Is it really a loss, or just another hill to climb?" We need to take some time to positively reflect on this, and avoid the temptation to wallow in self pity (one of my specialties, I may add). Instead we need to ask what do I need to learn from this? What have I learned about myself? What can I do with what I've learned? If we can learn from our experiences, then we are successful. However hard the disappointment and crashing feelings tend to be. We are all made to grow, and to learn. We only truly fail; when we fail to learn.

Sometimes we have to come to the end of ourselves, to to find out who we are. That is a big part of growing. We are not what we accomplish, although it may seem like it on a superficial level...accomplishments tend to fade, while character grows. Yes, I want to accomplish great things, to be recognized for doing good. I crave the accolades of a job well done. I think we all do. Yet if that becomes the focus and purpose of our life, we get clouded with pride and think too much of ourselves. We end up missing the greater truth of who we are becoming.

To make a positive difference in the world requires love. The greater the love for others, the greater and more positive impact you will have. Love is an action, it is desiring the good of another, even at the cost of ourselves. Jesus is the author of love, and demonstrates what love can do. The more I find out about God's love, the more I am able to love myself, and love others. After all, who better to teach us who we are, and what we are to be, than the one who created us?

Watch the following movie clip. Up from the ashes, grow the roses of success. It is from one of my favorite movies, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. It is fun, playful, has a crazy inventor, and puts a smile to my face every time I see it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GND10sWq0n0

Up from the ashes
- Up from what what used to be seemingly strong, and is now soft and serves as fertilizer to help something else grow. Our strong experiences can become soft fertilizer, a foundation on which new things can grow from.

Grow the roses
- The growing of a beautiful rose is a process. It starts with a seed that dies to itself, and with the help of good soil, light, and water, produces something so much more then the original.

Of Success
- Success is in what you give to others. Our gifts, like a rose's beauty, is not for ourselves, but for others to enjoy.

Jesus talked in the parable of the sower about the value of good soil. Are we allowing God to transform our experiences so they become good soil in which great dreams can flourish? Good soil is not hard, rocky, or filled with weeds. Good soil is soft, rich in nutrients...yes fertilizer.

Here is what I'm doing as I seek out my next dream.

• Writing a time-line of past experiences
• Looking at the time-line see where I have put forth energy that has brought about the greatest joy, the greatest good.
• Looking for where I have found purpose and joy, and where that seems to point.
• Trusting that my Father will guide my steps.

One of my joys is being able to take the experiences I have had, and using them to help others. That is one of my purposes.

I found this in a quick search about how a rose grows. It seems to apply.
There will be disappointments along the way, when many rose seeds fail to germinate, or perhaps they do germinate, only to die several weeks later from damp-off disease. Sometimes a rose seedling will turn out to be as ugly as sin, or very sickly, and you will reluctantly have to throw it away. Other times they will be just ho-hum, or look too much like its parent, and therefore have no value. But, just when you don't expect it, you might discover that one of your rose seedlings turns out to be very special. http://scvrs.homestead.com/HybridizeKB1.html

I don’t know, I don't know

I don’t know

These are words we hear often when talking to Vanda, more often that I would like, but I’m beginning to understand.

It goes something like this….

"How are you today Vanda?"

"Good"

"What are you doing?"

"I don’t know"

"What did you do today?"

"I don’t know"

"Would you like to play a game of checkers?"

"I don’t know"

"What would you like to do with us in Latvia?"

"I don’t know"

This used to really frustrate me as I really want to know and connect with her.  After all, she is our daughter. (We are just waiting for the governments of this world to acknowledge this fact.)  Why should communication be so hard? We are only talking over 7 time zones, cultural differences, generational differences, and duh, she is a teenager…. We know from experience, sometimes all you get from a teenager living in your own home is, “I don’t know”, let alone one almost halfway around the globe.

                When Vanda first returned, we received a few emails. Then we started Skyping with video. Then her camera broke and we just talked via Skype with an occasional phone call. Now we get mostly emoticons, (those assorted smile faces with different expressions.  J ) and a bunch of “I don’t knows”.  As time passes and we wait and wait, this seems to be more difficult for Vanda. It has been 5 months since she was here.

I am beginning to understand that she really does not know. This adventure we are on is life changing for all of us. She has been an orphan all her life, has very little idea of what life in America is, or what life in school will be, or even being a regular part of our family. She is 14, has many friends and I’m sure has grown accustomed to her life in the foster home for the last 3 years. She also knows, like we do, that while life is good now, her options for a fulfilled life in Latvia are extremely limited as she approaches her 16^th birthday, the age at which orphans age out of the system.  I can truly say that I don’t know what it’s like to be an orphan all my life. Well that is until I stop and think. I was an orphan, until I became adopted into God’s merciful family.  When faced with questions from our heavenly Father, I hear,…  Kirk, will you start taking better care of yourself? Kirk, will you love others as I have loved you? Kirk, will you trust me? My response is…………. Uhmmm “I don’t know?”  There are so many life lessons to be found in the act of adoption.

We are very thankful for the time we had with Vanda this summer, when we did get the opportunity to connect. She too, remembers our time together, and I believe that is what we all are using to get us through this time of waiting. We often talk of our time together this summer, and I’ve been sharing some of my favorite pictures with her. I even wrote her a poem. “Fond of Vanda.” We had truly hoped we would be traveling January/ February but now it looks like March/ April. Only God knows and we will trust in His timing. Things just work out better when we do.

Speaking of our travel date, we did have a bit of excitement this week. Our friends, who we’ve been going through this adoption with, just received their notice and are traveling the middle of February to pick up their daughter. We are next! This past Thursday, Beth was sick at home, and catching up on email. She read an email from our adoption agency which had the date March 11th!  She thought, “It’s our travel date! Yippee! Yahoo!” So Beth excitedly calls me at school, and shares this wonderful news. Wow! My mind starts reeling, a bit in disbelief that this is actually going to happen. I start thinking of who to tell first? My principal, some close teachers who’ve been so supportive of the adoption, who? I decide I need to check the email myself so as to have printed proof to show others. I go to look, and find that the March 11^th date is actually -- March 11, 2003 , the date the article of law in Latvia pertaining to adoption was passed. I quickly called back my lovely wife, and suggested she reconsider spreading the news any further. Hmmm, as I’ve been teaching my kids in school, “attention to detail”, is an important skill.

Waiting on a date,

Kirk
One of the adopted

*   If you would like to be on our prayer list, let me know. I give regular updates on our progress, as well as the specifics of our needs.  

I Am

I Am

I am the light:  seekers searching and watchers waiting.

I am the empty darkness:

Subsiding, surrendered.

I am the rising sun: humbling and quieting.

I am the blowing breeze:

Changing, connecting.

I am the rising sun: unceasing and revealing.

I am the still water:

Reflecting, resourceful.

I am the rising sun: inviting and reaching.

I am the changing colors:

Promising, purposeful.

I am the rising sun: sharing and growing.

I am the lofty clouds:

Moving, majesty.

I am the rising sun: offering and strengthening.

I am the coming light:

Inviting, unmatched

I am the Sunrise,

I am what I am.

K. Bleavins 2010