First Hug

I know it has been a long while, over a year since last posting. I have been keeping a small journal, and hope to post more. I'm still recovering from the last few years. When entering the following journal entry I thought I might as well post it here. As I often say, thus has been a journey of learning what love is, and what love is not.

Love is patience, ....

Today I received a hug from our adopted teenage daughter. 

When she first came here, (almost 2 years ago) she never hugged anyone. My wife, the hug professional, has helped Vanda to hug and be hugged. Well, today, this morning, I got Vanda to grant me a small hug.

Yesterday, at her school, I observed her giving hugs to her male friend  (yes, shes attracted to him) and other girl friends, as they were going off to class. That afternoon I was talking with her, and asked her why she was able to give hugs to him, but not to me. She responded by saying that she always gives hugs to people when they offer one. (I think, she was trying to minimize the hug with him as we have cautioned her about male relationships.) So I said, "you always give hugs when offered?" She said yes. Later that night I reminded her again, and I could tell she was hesitant to the idea.

So this morning, as she was leaving, she gave her normal hug to Mom, and I saw my chance. I went to her, and asked where my hug was. She said that I needed to offer a hug first. I responded by saying that I have been offering hugs for two years. So I reached out gently putting my arms around her, and hugged her. At first she just stood there, so I moved her arms to wrap around me, and said, "that's a hug." We celebrate successes, no matter how small.

In another area of growth, we have been coaching her on expanding her friends, and reaching out to others.  I offered that if she needed help, she can text or call me. Later that afternoon, We have the following texting dialog:

Vanda: I had lunch with Julie* today ... And it was kinda akward...cazz she was doing hw and I tried to talk to her..

Vanda: I set with her for almous whole lunch, and she never asked me anything, it was me who was talking the most... I can't have a good lunch with her...so I walked for the rest 10 min around school... Them I found Susan*, so I was talking to her for a while, and she gave me a capcake!!! And then I went sai hi to Cheryl*  and everyone... But my lunch could be better...

Me: You are so good to let me know. It takes a strong person to do what is hard. I was reminded this week by pastor Roland that we should never get tired of doing what is good. Know that Julie* struggles with making friends too. 

Me: After school, let Julie* know that you are wanting to have some fun with her this afternoon and that she is important. Then get out the slime and sneeze on her :-)

Vanda: Hehehe ok ill try!!!! 

It is so hard making friends as a 16 year old!  I'm thankful for the hug, but also that she reached out to me with her struggles. Progress is good, and slow is okay. 

Such is the Love God grants to us. His love is very patient, and much more.

* The names are not the actual names.