Sunday, July 10, 2011

Parenting is not for wimps. Neither is adoption.

Wow! What a ride. 
      On June 25th we celebrated knowing Vanda for one year. To celebrate we went to Vanda’s favorite restaurant, Cici’s Pizza. She had been looking forward to going… Too bad, she was withdrawn and closed the entire time we were there. That is but a brief snapshot of the roller coaster ride of emotions we have been experiencing. Fortunately, we have great friends, and a loving God who provides us wisdom along the path.
      As anyone knows, communication with a teenager is tricky business; it is the same for us, except we have little or no foundation for our relationship. This foundation is a work in progress, and we have much ground to cover. It’s kind of like building a car while driving down the road. Talk about a thrill ride! Woah! Look out for that tree! (Flashback to George of the Jungle). For months, the only time Vanda would look at u was when she wanted something. So we made those times teaching moments. She would ask, “Can I do Facebook?” It is then that I could talk to her about some issue or attitude. All other times she would shut us out. If we dared to say “no” to one of her requests, she would likely spiral into anger and we would then have to wait out the silent storm. In between these challenges, there have been bursts of giggles and playfulness. Vanda has a great sense of humor; it is a medium that we can use to communicate with her… if we only remember to play ourselves.

      Vanda is an accomplished artist. We wanted to find a way to help her develop her gift, and we found this great studio for her called Le Studio. The teacher is from France by way of Lebanon, is very talented, and sees and encourages Vanda’s gift for art. She has just started her first oil painting. I have started an online artwork album; feel free to check it out. Vanda's Artwork
      There have been many new addition to Vanda's life since joining our family. Two of the additions are rats. Yes, real live, can't-believe-Beth-let-them-in-the-house rats. She does good at taking care of them and we hope it helps her feel more apart of our family and appreciate the value in family.

      Vanda really wanted to earn some money. Perhaps she heard of this crazy place, called the land of opportunity. She has been washing and cleaning cars, mowing yards, and walking dogs. Like most things she does, she works hard and wants to make everything “beautiful.” Beautiful is one of her favorite words. If you can drop off your car, two hours later she will have it looking like new inside and out.
      Now for the most amazing part of our story. I’m not sure I can accurately describe the amazing change we have witnessed. It has to be the power of prayer. Until just recently, Vanda would rarely look at us (only when she wanted something), and would recoil as the slightest touch. At night, she would literally hide under the sheets when we came to say prayers with her. Everyone knows that Beth is addicted to hugs, and she hugs everybody. Not being able to hug Vanda has been very hard for us, but especially for Beth. With an amazing amount of gentleness, play, and patience, Beth has taught Vanda how not only to receive hugs, but also to give them. After months of rejection, Vanda is looking deep into Beth’s eyes, embracing her, and connecting to Beth. Vanda will even give me a hug, but only at prayer time and only after making sure Beth get the bigger hugs.  That is ok, this journey has just begun, and we are on the right path.
      We leave in a few weeks for our third trip to Latvia. We really don’t know what to expect but are sure we will witness God’s hand in it. It may be difficult for Vanda and we do not know the next time she will be able to return to her place of birth, the places and people she has been a part of for 14 years. Your prayers are appreciated.
      Each week we can see how God is teaching not only Vanda but us as well, what a family is and more importantly, love. Love is truly the greatest gift God has given us, and we all have much to learn about it.

Adopted into God’s family,
Kirk

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