I don’t know, I don't know

I don’t know

These are words we hear often when talking to Vanda, more often that I would like, but I’m beginning to understand.

It goes something like this….

"How are you today Vanda?"

"Good"

"What are you doing?"

"I don’t know"

"What did you do today?"

"I don’t know"

"Would you like to play a game of checkers?"

"I don’t know"

"What would you like to do with us in Latvia?"

"I don’t know"

This used to really frustrate me as I really want to know and connect with her.  After all, she is our daughter. (We are just waiting for the governments of this world to acknowledge this fact.)  Why should communication be so hard? We are only talking over 7 time zones, cultural differences, generational differences, and duh, she is a teenager…. We know from experience, sometimes all you get from a teenager living in your own home is, “I don’t know”, let alone one almost halfway around the globe.

                When Vanda first returned, we received a few emails. Then we started Skyping with video. Then her camera broke and we just talked via Skype with an occasional phone call. Now we get mostly emoticons, (those assorted smile faces with different expressions.  J ) and a bunch of “I don’t knows”.  As time passes and we wait and wait, this seems to be more difficult for Vanda. It has been 5 months since she was here.

I am beginning to understand that she really does not know. This adventure we are on is life changing for all of us. She has been an orphan all her life, has very little idea of what life in America is, or what life in school will be, or even being a regular part of our family. She is 14, has many friends and I’m sure has grown accustomed to her life in the foster home for the last 3 years. She also knows, like we do, that while life is good now, her options for a fulfilled life in Latvia are extremely limited as she approaches her 16^th birthday, the age at which orphans age out of the system.  I can truly say that I don’t know what it’s like to be an orphan all my life. Well that is until I stop and think. I was an orphan, until I became adopted into God’s merciful family.  When faced with questions from our heavenly Father, I hear,…  Kirk, will you start taking better care of yourself? Kirk, will you love others as I have loved you? Kirk, will you trust me? My response is…………. Uhmmm “I don’t know?”  There are so many life lessons to be found in the act of adoption.

We are very thankful for the time we had with Vanda this summer, when we did get the opportunity to connect. She too, remembers our time together, and I believe that is what we all are using to get us through this time of waiting. We often talk of our time together this summer, and I’ve been sharing some of my favorite pictures with her. I even wrote her a poem. “Fond of Vanda.” We had truly hoped we would be traveling January/ February but now it looks like March/ April. Only God knows and we will trust in His timing. Things just work out better when we do.

Speaking of our travel date, we did have a bit of excitement this week. Our friends, who we’ve been going through this adoption with, just received their notice and are traveling the middle of February to pick up their daughter. We are next! This past Thursday, Beth was sick at home, and catching up on email. She read an email from our adoption agency which had the date March 11th!  She thought, “It’s our travel date! Yippee! Yahoo!” So Beth excitedly calls me at school, and shares this wonderful news. Wow! My mind starts reeling, a bit in disbelief that this is actually going to happen. I start thinking of who to tell first? My principal, some close teachers who’ve been so supportive of the adoption, who? I decide I need to check the email myself so as to have printed proof to show others. I go to look, and find that the March 11^th date is actually -- March 11, 2003 , the date the article of law in Latvia pertaining to adoption was passed. I quickly called back my lovely wife, and suggested she reconsider spreading the news any further. Hmmm, as I’ve been teaching my kids in school, “attention to detail”, is an important skill.

Waiting on a date,

Kirk
One of the adopted

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