K. Bleavins Blog

Parenting is not for wimps. Neither is adoption.

2011-07-10T21:15:00.001-04:00

Wow! What a ride.

On June 25^th we celebrated knowing Vanda for one year. To celebrate we went to Vanda’s favorite restaurant, Cici’s Pizza. She had been looking forward to going… Too bad, she was withdrawn and closed the entire time we were there. That is but a brief snapshot of the roller coaster ride of emotions we have been experiencing. Fortunately, we have great friends, and a loving God who provides us wisdom along the path.

As anyone knows, communication with a teenager is tricky business; it is the same for us, except we have little or no foundation for our relationship. This foundation is a work in progress, and we have much ground to cover. It’s kind of like building a car while driving down the road. Talk about a thrill ride! Woah! Look out for that tree! (Flashback to George of the Jungle). For months, the only time Vanda would look at u was when she wanted something. So we made those times teaching moments. She would ask, “Can I do Facebook?” It is then that I could talk to her about some issue or attitude. All other times she would shut us out. If we dared to say “no” to one of her requests, she would likely spiral into anger and we would then have to wait out the silent storm. In between these challenges, there have been bursts of giggles and playfulness. Vanda has a great sense of humor; it is a medium that we can use to communicate with her… if we only remember to play ourselves.

Vanda is an accomplished artist. We wanted to find a way to help her develop her gift, and we found this great studio for her called Le Studio. The teacher is from France by way of Lebanon, is very talented, and sees and encourages Vanda’s gift for art. She has just started her first oil painting. I have started an online artwork album; feel free to check it out. Vanda's Artwork

There have been many new addition to Vanda's life since joining our family. Two of the additions are rats. Yes, real live, can't-believe-Beth-let-them-in-the-house rats. She does good at taking care of them and we hope it helps her feel more apart of our family and appreciate the value in family.

Vanda really wanted to earn some money. Perhaps she heard of this crazy place, called the land of opportunity. She has been washing and cleaning cars, mowing yards, and walking dogs. Like most things she does, she works hard and wants to make everything “beautiful.” Beautiful is one of her favorite words. If you can drop off your car, two hours later she will have it looking like new inside and out.

Now for the most amazing part of our story. I’m not sure I can accurately describe the amazing change we have witnessed. It has to be the power of prayer. Until just recently, Vanda would rarely look at us (only when she wanted something), and would recoil as the slightest touch. At night, she would literally hide under the sheets when we came to say prayers with her. Everyone knows that Beth is addicted to hugs, and she hugs everybody. Not being able to hug Vanda has been very hard for us, but especially for Beth. With an amazing amount of gentleness, play, and patience, Beth has taught Vanda how not only to receive hugs, but also to give them. After months of rejection, Vanda is looking deep into Beth’s eyes, embracing her, and connecting to Beth. Vanda will even give me a hug, but only at prayer time and only after making sure Beth get the bigger hugs. That is ok, this journey has just begun, and we are on the right path.

We leave in a few weeks for our third trip to Latvia. We really don’t know what to expect but are sure we will witness God’s hand in it. It may be difficult for Vanda and we do not know the next time she will be able to return to her place of birth, the places and people she has been a part of for 14 years. Your prayers are appreciated.

Each week we can see how God is teaching not only Vanda but us as well, what a family is and more importantly, love. Love is truly the greatest gift God has given us, and we all have much to learn about it.

Adopted into God’s family,

Kirk

Communication Chalenge

2011-05-09T17:16:00.000-04:00

OK, I admit it, I am a guy who is not a great communicator. I apologize for the long gap between sending out information. I could list a line of excuses but I think I just got burnt out. Schools, Adoption, etc. I have limited computing power here and will add pictures later.

I am in Latvia on our second trip. I know, it would have been good to let you know. Please see apology above. Tomorrow Vanda becomes Vanda Anna Bleavins! We go to court and then start our journey home to America.

Just Vanda and I came on this trip. Only one parent is required to come, so it worked out best for just Vanda and me to come. Vanda was so excited to come and see her family here, that she could hardly eat. Over the last 8 weeks, she had regularly talked with her friends and foster sisters with the help of Skype but communication is always better face to face.

This trip has been an adventure, but in much different ways than the last. On the last trip in February, we had travel adventures, transitional grieving for Vanda, and the general unknown of never been here before. This time, I will claim communication adventures. It is amazing how many communication tools we have, and we depend on, and yet communication still can be an issue. Right guys? I realized how dependent I had become when I walked into my very nice room overlooking the river at the bed and breakfast. I had no Wi-Fi, no cell phone access, and the room was a country meadow quiet. I was told there is internet at the front desk, and I could use that when they were not using it. Problem is I pretty much only slept in the room, coming in late and leaving right after breakfast.

Picture this… A geek, who is not a social chatterbox, voluntarily placing himself in a place where he does not know but 2 words of the language, staying in a bed and breakfast where there is no translator or internet, Spending his days with other adults, who don’t know English, speaking in church, with a first time translator using my laptop and so the translator can understand my English, and even traveling to a small country town, to speak again. Add to that I am driving (yes a car) in a strange country, with signs I can’t read, getting directions for two women who speak about as much English as I do Russian or Latvian.

Even in America, I am surrounded by women, and I hit my limit of women telling me what to do, know I put myself in the situation of having women tell me what to do in a different language! By Monday evening I was dying to talk to someone in English. Yes Vanda does well with her English but I have not seen much of her and besides she is 14, and translating for dad is not nearly as much fun as playing with your friends. At one point today, she called me “Kirk.” I gently let her know, that she normally calls me papa. It is that respectful communication thing that teens struggle with. I know there is nothing new under the sun, if we want to talk about teenagers and the lack of communication.

On Sunday I came to the realization that every day with God is an adventure. If we are open to the spirits leading, who knows what situations we will find ourselves in…We never know what the day will bring. What I do know is that God will provide abundantly all that is needed to do what He asks of us.

Some highlights of the trip:

· A relaxed plane schedule. It took 49 hours to get here but there was no airline anxiety.
· A peaceful bed & breakfast
· 8 hours of sleep on Saturday night. Must have been the country air.
· Watching Vanda’s foster mother dance with joy, as I presented her with a new purse from Davidson…a purse with some spending money for her and the kids in it.
· Watching Vanda enjoy exploring the art of photography. I handed her the camera and Beth had already asked her to take a bunch of pictures. And she did!
· Seeing Vanda interested in taking pictures of me while I was speaking in church. If I’m not mistaken, she looked a bit proud.
· Playing soccer with some kids who I can’t talk with, but games go past communication.
· Seeing Vanda’s school and getting to talk to one of her teachers. She is the polish teacher at the polish school in Latvia, who happens to speak English rather well. Go figure.
· Talking in English to an English teacher about teaching and life after seemingly days of experiencing a personal communication black out.
· Drinking milk that came from a cow not less than 20 minutes prior. That is real country living.
· Driving in the countryside
· Getting motivated to write this blog.
· Did I mention, I am enjoying Latvian food? I would enjoy vegetables more if they were like the “salads” here. Our American salads are boring in comparison.

One of the adopted, and praying that we all accept God's invitation to be adopted,

Kirk

Let there be joy!

2011-03-23T21:26:00.001-04:00

All teenager

It has been 11 days since we returned from Latvia. It seems like Vanda has been here much longer. With us hosting her this summer, and our 3 weeks in Latvia, we have become a family is a short amount of time. I think Beth and I are ahead of Vanda in this area as she certainly has the harder part of this adventure; It is hard to comprehend the amount of change she is experiencing. She does not speak much of her feelings, but I do my best to understand and interpret her responses to life’s situations. Looking back, I can see how her time here this summer is much different from her time now, but there are connections. I do think it was one of the many pieces that have helped Vanda with this transition. She grieved while in Latvia but she is happy to be here with us.

Vanda is attending school with me 4 days a week, but it is more like homeschooling. She attends Art, PE, and Technology, and watches Dance. As for many her age, dancing is a bit scary, but the teacher, Sara Keys, is wonderful and Vanda is connecting with the girls. I ‘m still trying to find and understand the resources I need to help her with her core subjects. I feel like I’m getting another crash course in education. Daily she is using an Internet program called Live Mocha. Other than the program runs slowly during the day, it is a good program and is helping Vanda with her English skills. Vanda is doing well with her English, and her vocabulary score is very high. Her biggest struggle is with grammar and forming sentences. We have very few problems in understanding each other with our daily communication.

While we are still figuring out routines and such, Vanda is already an integral part of our family. The other night I found myself sitting at a table with four delightfully giggling girls: Vanda, Sarah, Alyssa, and of course, Beth. I am certainly outnumbered. Lord keep me strong.

I’ve saved the best for last. Today, Spring must have caught Vanda. While we have had temperatures even into the 80’s, Latvia is just reaching into the 40’s. Vanda wanted to go swim in the lake. Yes the lake. It was the highlight of her time she spent with us this past summer. We told her that today the water would be cold, but she is a teenager after all. I am a believer in experiential education so I said sure. She was so excited. For the rest of the story, see the following video.

Vanda has added to the laughter and joy in our home. I was thinking today; we do not pick our biological children, God sends them. In much the same way, we did not choose Vanda, God sent her, and God, the very best Father, knows how to give good gifts.

Happily connected to God’s family,

Kirk

For more pictures, see https://picasaweb.google.com/Bleavins/LatviaTrip1#

Our adventure home

2011-03-13T10:32:00.001-04:00

We are back in the USA and home Vanda! Wow! We had a wonderful and amazing adventure getting here. I will attempt to capture it but you really had to have been there. (Then again, perhaps you would rather not)

In Riga

It started in Riga at 4:00am when we got up to catch our 5:00am taxi. The hotel had made an early breakfast for us and we grabbed that as we went out the door. At the airport we had to repack all of our bags due to different weight limits for Baltic Air: 20kg for checked bags and only 8kg for carry on. After accomplishing that small task, the attendant says she can only book our flights and bags half way, that is to say through Manchester, England. Something about her system could not track our final two flights from Manchester to Philadelphia and then on to Charlotte. (Yes we would be flying on four airplanes today. It was the best I could find with only 2 1/2 weeks notice before leaving for Latvia!). All of our flights had layovers of less than 2 hours; we were truly expecting to have to sleep in at least one hotel somewhere along the way, thinking there was no way we would make all of our connections. God would prove me wrong and show us the He had it all taken care of!

Our first flight was from Riga, Latvia to Copenhagen, Denmark. We left a cold, overcast morning in Riga, with snow still covering the ground! We had seats at the back of the plane, 33rd of 24 rows. We told the flight attendant that we were in the midst of the adoption journey and that we were worried about our short layover in Copenhagen. The Scandinavian Air flight attendants were wonderful. Ten minutes before landing, they let us move to the front of the plane so we could be the first ones off. All along the journey we have encountered some wonderful people who just love to help, as we share our story. We landed in Copenhagen 15 minutes late with a 55 minute layover. After a brisk morning walk through the airport, we made it to the plane as it was boarding.

Things were looking good, and as an added bonus, we landed 15 minutes early in Manchester, England. All according to plan, God’s plan that is. As we flew west, the weather kept getting warmer and the snow was disappearing. The snow in England seemed to cling to the frozen lakes and ponds, but there was green grass everywhere. In Manchester, we had our first minor issue at the visa check point. As Vanda is a minor, airport security is extra cautious, and they wanted to do a few more checks. When we arrived at baggage claim, uh oh, it was empty. It took a while for us to discover our bags did not make it with us, and they were still in Copenhagen. Of our three checked bags, Vanda's bag was unknown as to its whereabouts at the time. We were interviewed by security twice, as Beth and I kept hearing the clock ticking with a close look at our watches. I can’t imagine that we looked like a big threat; perhaps it was Vanda’s soft cuddly panda pillow pet! One benefit to being in England, as we now raced through the Manchester airport, we could actually read the signs and understand the people. They were all very friendly, and we even joked around with them enjoying some good old British humor.

Once we found the Manchester ticket counter, we were the last in line., and we were told that Vanda had no seat on this full plane. A enjoyable, British security man, and a lovely woman at the USAirways ticket counter, told us to get to the gate as quick as we could. Once there,Vanda would be given her boarding pass and a seat assignment. Here we go again, yes our pace is increasing. It felt like we were rats running in a maze to find a small piece of cheese. Beth Is now known as Eagle Eyes, as all along she was quick to read the signs as we navigated the maze. As we were moving quickly through the Manchester airport, Beth spotted the Radisson hotel as we zoomed past it. Hmmm, perhaps we will be staying there tonight. Not too bad... Time check, 10 minutes before take off time! At the gate we go through it all again. It is a mess and they are dealing with a bunch of passengers making connections. This is the only flight to the USA today from Manchester. Well, at least we were not alone. We were the last to be helped. They finally give us a handwritten seat number on a ticket for Vanda, and they let us board the plane. The plane left 45 minutes late. We were at the back of a very large plane, but we are on our way home! In fact, since the row where Beth and I were seated was much farther away than Vanda's seat, a very nice gentleman in the window seat traded seats, and Vanda was now able to sit with us!

About 8 hours later (at this point my concept of time is a mess), we arrived in Philadelphia. Time to let the rats loose and see how they navigate this new maze! Once again, at the visa checkpoint we were delayed. They needed more paperwork and documents about our adoption, but the best part was the airlines did not report in the computer system that Vanda had boarded the plane. Here she is standing with us! This got airport security’s attention and we had to go to a place for a secondary security interview. Vanda had to be fingerprinted, and we were asked a lot of questions! Tick tick tick, no problem, we have 30 minutes. It turns out it was a blessing to not have our checked bags, since that would have slowed us down even more through customs. As of this writing, I have no clue where our bags are, but hey, we are home!

Now this is when it gets really good. We are in Philadelphia, just hours away from being in Charlotte. We are finally cleared by security and now headed towards the last check point. You know that place where you have to take everything out of your pockets, take off shoes, jackets, laptops, etc... As they check our passports, and our boarding passes again, they don’t like Vanda’s unofficial boarding pass with the handwritten seat number. Now we have to go back up to yet another ticket counter, yes uphill, and now we are running, to find the ticket counters. At this point I am laughing and smiling. At every point in this adventure we have received just what we needed, right when we needed it. I knew we would make it to the gate, just in time and would be home that night. However, that did not mean we could just stand there and expect to make it home, we had some running to do. We got to the ticket counter, told our story to compassionate people, got a new boarding pass and headed back down to the security checkpoint. We fly pass a line of people, just as they told us to do. The other passengers in line gave us some serious questioning looks. Shoes, laptops, watches, jackets are flying off of us, we get scanned, and then, in record time, we pass through, and are on the hunt for gate B-10. Vanda did not even stop to tie her shoes. B-10 is on the other side of the airport. We are going from Terminal A to Terminal B with at least 6 of those automated run/walkways. I’m breaking a sweat due to the rapid speed walking/ running but I’m still smiling. No stress, No worry. Just joy. This could be a movie. One where you know the hero is going to make it, but the suspense is great and you really don’t know how it will be resolved. We arrived at the gate at 3:30pm, take off time, and no one is there. The plane just pulled away from the gate. With red faces, and a bit of sweat, we asked if we could please get on the plane, that it's the last leg of a long trip for an adoption, we're trying to get home. They say "wait a minute" as they need to check with Terminal Services Authority. In a moment, a uniformed guy appears and tells us we can take a seat. We move towards some nearby chairs, and start to sit down. No, he meant take a seat on the plane! They actually re-opened the plane just for us. Just what we needed, right when we needed it.

Our family was mostly in the dark about our status throughout the day. When we left the hotel, the Internet was not working, so we could not send any notes at 5am Latvian Time, 10pm North Carolina time. I tried to get the Wi-Fi in Manchester, England to work on my phone as we waited on getting Vanda's seat, but after completing a 15 minute online questionnaire to access the WiFi, it never worked. I finally was able to make one phone call to my mom, as we were leaving the gate in Philadelphia. I had 10 seconds to tell her we were headed to Charlotte. The reception was not great as the plane was pulling away, and it was just before they made the "no electronics" announcement.

It has been very clear we are not in charge of the plan, we are but willing participants. Good thing. Managing all the intricacies of our lives is a far greater task than I can handle. It is all I can do to keep up with three passports, keeping my family close to my heart (in one of those nerdy travel passport things you wear around your neck!).

Vanda's room

As we arrived in Charlotte, North Carolina, we were greeted by warm sunny spring weather, flowering trees and our family at baggage claim! (Grammie, Sarah, Brenden and Alyssa). When we arrived home, Vanda was very impressed with her room, her first room to herself, which Sarah and our neighbor had decorated in Vanda's favorite colors, red and black (also Davidson College's colors!). At our house, there was a huge welcome sign covering our front door, all signed by our awesome neighbors!

We left Riga, Latvia with a light snow falling and winter still in the air. We pray that with spring comes new life as only God can give.

Quotes from our adventure:

· Prepare for worst, delight in the best.

God's timing, just what we need, right when we need it.

From an old song by a group Silverwind:

Keeping the sunshine bright on our faces,

Keeping the shadows under our feet.

Catching the cool breeze,

Blowing inside us.

We're taking the narrow street.

A wonderful "signed" welcome on our door!

Thanks for traveling with us,

Kirk, Beth, and Vanda.

For more pictures, see https://picasaweb.google.com/Bleavins/LatviaTrip1#

The end of this chapter, and the start of a much bigger one.

2011-03-11T02:05:00.001-05:00

We are nearing the end of this part of the adventure.

Vanda Saying Yes

Wednesday March 9^th, we went to the orphan court where as we were waiting, they served us tea. How many courts do you know who serve tea? The people there are very informal yet very caring about children and families. We were there to have Vanda officially sign a document saying she wants to be our daughter! this was another tender and sweet moment for all of us. After that we left for Riga.

In Riga, yesterday, we went to the American embassy for Vanda’s visa interview. Our attorney Daina, has expertly guided us through this system, and the people there all knew her. The interview was simple, and today we go to pick up her visa. We are headed home tomorrow! We will be leaving the hotel at 5:00 am (yeah), and will see what adventures wait for us in traveling home.

The real adventure begins when we get home and start to integrate Vanda into our life in America. We are truly blessed as Americans, and even more, to be part of God's adopted family. We are grateful for this opportunity to share it all with our newest daughter, Vanda. Our other kids are all very excited to have us come home as well, and to continue their relationship with Vanda.

Us with Inga, the orphan court director

Praise God for His provisions, we are on our way home,

Kirk, Beth, and Vanda.

Helpful and caring: Daina, our attorney

More pictures can be found at: https://picasaweb.google.com/Bleavins/LatviaTrip1#

Saying good bye in Kraslava

2011-03-09T00:38:00.001-05:00

Yesterday we returned to Kraslava, Vanda's home town, to see her foster mom and her close friends once more before leaving. Once again, we were greeted with an overflowing and gracious hospitality. Our original plan was to arrive at 12:15 and meet Mama Gertruda, Gertruda's close friend Natasha, and Vanda's two close friends, Zarina, and Grieta, at a cafe near the bus station. Well, as with most parts of this trip, we are along for the ride and not in control of a whole lot. Since we are not familiar with the language, we have to rely on others for much of our communication. For this trip we relied on Vanda to help make plans with her foster mom. (Did I mention she is a teenager?)

Vanda & Zarina

When we get off the bus, Vanda tells us that instead of going to the cafe, we are going to Mama's house. Ok, we are not sure of what's going on but that is nothing new. We follow Vanda as she leads the way. At Gertruda's house, we are greeted with warm embraces, fresh pastries from the nearby bakery, and wonderful fruit flavored tea. There we look at photo albums of some of the other kids, and even Gertruda's personal photo album, dating back to her childhood. At around 2:00 pm we say goodbye to Vanda's foster brothers and sisters and head for the cafe. When we arrive, we find out Gertruda had called ahead and the table was reserved, and beautifully set, including a tasty salad and fruit juices. Gertruda had it all planned out. The food was amazing, and the atmosphere quaint and festive. We had planned on treating them to a meal but they had the home town advantage, so we humbly accepted their loving hospitality. After, we walked a bit, took some more pictures, and then headed to the bus station. There we exchanged heartfelt good byes. It was an extremely tender moment, and we all had warm tears of affection in our eyes. As I write this journal, I can feel the emotions of the moment welling up again. Vanda was saying good bye to her Mama who has done so much for her over the last 4 years, to her best friend, and to the city she has known as her own. It was hard, and we had a quiet bus ride back to Daugavpils. Upon our return, we saw a calming sunset as we packed to leave for Riga. After packing, Vanda started drawing-- the first time since being here. I believe she successfully crossed one of the milestones in her journey to life in America. We will be home soon.

Friends saying good bye

Sunset, this chapter is closing, another beginning

More pictures can be found at: https://picasaweb.google.com/Bleavins/LatviaTrip1#

Letters for Vanda

2011-03-08T00:41:00.003-05:00

Tonight I told Vanda it was time to practice her English. We had already had a session this morning and she was reluctant to do more. I then presented her with about 100 (I really should count them) letters from the 7th grade class at her new school, Community School of Davidson. Her eyes grew wide and I told her this stack of papers was for her, from her new classmates. She was amazed and eagerly started reading each and every one. She smiled, and giggled as she read them aloud, Beth helping her with only some of the words. Ohhh, Ahhh she would say as she related to such things as “I like sports”, “I love my Art class”, and “The teachers here are really nice.” At one of the letters, Vanda and Beth were laughing so hard Vanda said her stomach was hurting. The laughter was good and I believe healing, as we have noticed that while Vanda is excited and committed to living with us in America, she is having a hard time with saying goodbye to her friends and family at the foster home. Vanda read aloud in English non-stop for an hour and fifteen minutes. She read until her speech started slurring, but she was determined to read every one of the letters. Vanda even said, “Thank you God” as she read one of the student’s letters. This was a moment to remember.

I am very grateful that God has set it up for Vanda to go to this school. These letters say a lot about the school and its environment. The kids mentioned how the school has an anti-bully policy, how the school is accepting of everyone, how the teachers are fun and good, how the kids enjoy learning, they learn a lot, and how new kids to the school are always treated well. Each letter was full of honest encouragement and genuine interest. I went to the school not for my kids, but because I heard it was the best place to teach. Now I am blessed to have both.

We are enjoying being part of a much larger community. Parenting was never meant to be performed alone.

Kirk, Beth, and Vanda too!

We ended the day with some fun father daughter play.

Caring Hearts in Kraslava

2011-03-07T03:42:00.000-05:00

Kraslava, a quaint small town

For us, yesterday was the day we came here for. We caught the bus @ 10:10am and headed towards Kraslava. This is where Vanda’s foster family lives. We arrived a little over and hour later and were greeted by a wonderful welcoming committee: Mama Gertruda, Anita, (Gertruda’s daughter in law who is an English teacher and thus our translator), Natasha (Gertruda’s close friend for the last 30 years), 5 kids, and the family dog, Cleo.

We were given a walking tour of the city. The city is not very big and they said the longest street is 3km long. We saw the abandoned "palace", and then Alla, who works at the museum, (a friend of Gertruda’s), gave us a private tour, since the museum was normally closed on Sundays. Then we walked to their Catholic church, and then Alla shared her knowledge and gave us a detailed tour of the church, where we were introduced to all the saints, and their roles in the church.

By now we had worked up an appetite and were treated to some of the best food, the best we have had in Latvia. Gertruda is an example of what a loving and caring heart can do. She lives on the 5^th floor of an apartment (our spoiled American minds were expecting a small house.) It has 4 rooms, one of which is a small kitchen. In addition, there is 1 hall, 1 toilet, and 1 wash room, with bath. Here Gertruda is able to serve a wonderful meal to 15 people. The room in which we ate also served as the computer room, the TV room, and a bedroom for Gertruda and Artem, Vanda’s brother. She currently has 5 foster children but has sheltered up to 7. She said "7 was very hard, and now 5 seems like one". This world needs more loving hearts like hers.

Gertruda's 4 room apartment is on the top left

Gertruda’s connections, one of many, includes Anita, her daughter in law. Anita is an English teacher in a nearby small village. The school where she teaches cannot afford internet access in the school, let alone computers. Anita served as our translator and spent all afternoon and evening translating. Translating is hard work, and she offered her gift with a wonderful smile and a caring heart. She drove us back, in the dark and on snowy roads, to the hotel so that we could spend more time there. We did not leave until after 7pm and she had almost 2 hours of driving to do to bring us to Daugavpils and then return to Gertruda's, visit with her mother who lives across the street from Gertruda, and head home to tuck into bed her son, David (age 6) and get ready to go to work the next day.

During our meal, two men came from a local church. They regularly come by and bring some basic supplies like bread for Gertruda’s foster family. The government provides about $1000 a month for her to live on and to provide for the children. This is not much to live on, as we are finding that things here cost about the same as what they cost in the USA. Fortunately, Gertruda has a small farm and garden about 20 minutes away to help provide food, and she is connected to many other caring people.

We felt very blessed by the love and compassion we felt being around these people. This is Vanda’s recent past, and we can see where it has given her a good starting foundation as she becomes a permanent part of our family. We also know that these people are now part of our future, as we plan to continue in our newly found friendships.

Vanda is with us for all of this, as we continue to weave or lives together into the beautify tapestry God has designed for us. No more "can't wait until we see you again and it will be real soon!” moments, at least for the foreseeable future.

As with every part of this adventure, we see God’s amazing hand in this. We feel very blessed. We are not sure of what the future holds, but we know that as long as we seek out our Father’s plan, and are open to His leading, it will be good.

Thanks for traveling with us,

Kirk, Beth, and Vanda.

Vanda and her artwork on public display

Anita, Natasha, Gertruda, Beth

Anita, Artem, Ilsa, Natasha, Vanda

A truly multipurpose room

1/2 of a small but functional kitchen

For more pictures, see https://picasaweb.google.com/Bleavins/LatviaTrip1#

Week 1 with Vanda

2011-03-04T16:22:00.003-05:00

Today marked our first full week here with Vanda. One week from tomorrow we will leave for the U.S.! Looking back I can see steady growth as we work to knit her into our family. Yes, I did say work. While I had hoped for a vacation, all of us are having to work a bit. Parenting, regardless of the age, requires major effort. There have been tears, rebellion, frustration, fears, and misunderstandings to work through as we learn more of her past, and she learns what to expect from us. And we are not done. We have also seen the importance of teamwork in our marriage and how we must be united to be the parents we are called to be. As friends have reminded us, this is not a sprint, but a marathon, one step at a time, just like all parenting.

Today was a good day. We met with the orphan court directors in our hotel room just before lunch for about 25 minutes. They walked the 30 minutes (round trip) from their office to the hotel. People here walk everywhere. Yes, there are plenty of cars too, but walking is the norm. Daugavpils turned their main street into a walking street, one of the first cities in the area to do so. Back at our hotel, I introduced Vanda to a typing program today, and she was at it for over 90 minutes. We am seeing that she loves to learn. For our family outing today we went bowling, followed by a trip to our favorite place for dinner, Cili Pica (Chili Pizza). This evening we continued our daily bible reading. This accomplishes many things at once. It is a great family activity, we read aloud, we share thoughts, it strengthens her English skills, and we all gain a greater understanding of the greatest book. Another multipurpose activity we have started is that of journaling. Journaling provides great practice in transferring thoughts into English words, as well as documenting our trip, and giving her practice writing in English.

Vanda is quite social and enjoys talking with her friends, via the many modern communication tools we have surrounded ourselves with. Her treat at the end of the day is to sit in front of the computer connecting with her friends.

We are very thankful for being able to see the growth over the week and for a very teachable spirit Vanda has had all day. She went to bed a very happy girl.

One of the adopted,
Kirk, Beth and Vanda too!

For more pictures go to: picasaweb.google.com/Bleavins/LatviaTrip1#

We are blessed in this adventure

2011-03-02T13:52:00.001-05:00

Today we were blessed with spending time with Mama Gertruda, Vanda’s foster mother. What a delightful lady. She carries herself with beauty, confidence and with a real heart for children. She has two sons of her own who in their 20’s, and she currently has 5 foster children in her home. It was great to see the respect and love Vanda has for her.

Since before the start of this adventure, we have been blessed to see God’s hand in this adoption. Not only has time in a foster home helped prepare Vanda for adoption but so has Mama Gertruda. Mama has been down this road with other children and has spent time prepping Vanda for this big change. As is their custom she brought meaningful and thoughtful gifts, and after lunch, she gave us a tour of the “Church Hill” area. This is a place of 4 historic churches. Check out the pictures.

Speaking of the restaurant, it is called Tex-Mex. Well I just had to try the Mexican entrees and ordered a beef burrito. Other than being wrapped in a flour tortilla, I found only slight resemblance to anything in Texas or Mexico. It was sweet and tasted more like sweet and sour stir fry with a side of a mild red jalapeno pepper. Beth’s fajita fell into the same category… The spaghetti, yes pasta with butter and parmesan, which Vanda ordered was good. So much for Tex-Mex, I guess the recipes got lost in the translation.

Anther great example of God's timing was yesterday when we arrived at the orphanage. Vanda is very timid and does not do well wit translating, so we were unsure of what to do as we entered. As soon as we entered, the girl who we were delivering a gift for, Santa, was walking right past us on an errand. She immediately recognized us, and Vanda her. Santa then became our tour guide and all was wonderful, just as planned.

Each day we learn a little more about Vanda, the city, her past, and her relationships, and it would appear she is learning about us as well. By the time you read this, our friends the VanHoys will be back in America with their new daughter, Viktorija Hope VanHoy! They were all very excited to be heading back and to start their new life together.

Part of the adopted family of Christ,

Kirk & Beth, and Vanda too!

P.S.All our pictures are posted with captions.at: https://picasaweb.google.com/Bleavins/LatviaTrip1#

Our Tour of Daugavpils

2011-03-01T16:00:00.000-05:00

Today we went to a museum, and out to the orphanage where Vanda grew up.

Here are some videos and pictures for you to enjoy.

The weekend is over

2011-02-28T16:50:00.000-05:00

Monday, the weekend is over, kids in school, and the hotel a bit quieter. For us, the weekend was over as well. Today I had to get some school work done. With all the travel and activity it has been hard to find time to do my college work. We also did some math and English practice with Vanda. This went well and Vanda seems to enjoy learning. We had our second appointment with the orphan court director. This is not a formal court as you might imagine our courts to be. This is a very informal place with very nice people working there. It is more of social services for kids and families. From what little I have seen of it, I think this would be good to have in the U.S. Nice relaxed people willing to help those in need. At the court, they asked Vanda questions and she indicated verbally, with smiles, and with eye contact that things were good. It was all in Russian so it was a bit hard to follow. Then the director asked us how it was going, and we said it was good. We said we have ups and downs, a few tears, but also good play and working together.

When we got back to the hotel, the internet for our floor was fixed! Praise God for little things like this. We took advantage of it and let Vanda Skype with her foster sister Laura. She really brightened up when she was able to, and it was fun to see her interact with Laura.
We also thought we would start up a tradition we did last summer with her; journaling with Beth. This was a favorite time for the two of them during the summer. Tonight it was different. Vanda did not want to write. We spent about 45 minutes trying to work through why she did not want to, but did not get very far. I asked her if I was asking her to do something hard, she said no, something bad, she said no. Regardless, she would not budge. We know she has a stubborn streak, we saw it last summer, and we were seeing it in full force. We ended with having her go to bed and that we would get help the next day.

Beth has been quoting from scripture, “Love is patient and Love is kind…” Many times, through this journey, we have seen where this is a lesson in what love is really about. It is a wonderful lesson, full of the bounty of God’s love. Thank you for coming along on our journey, we appreciate the company and the support.

Part of the adopted family of Christ,

Kirk & Beth, and Vanda too!

P.S.All our pictures are posted with captions.at: https://picasaweb.google.com/Bleavins/LatviaTrip1#

Learning the ways of a father and a family

2011-02-27T16:02:00.000-05:00

Day 2 & 3,

I have found out I am totally addicted to the internet. How did I come to this great revelation? Between my online classes and all my communication centered on the internet, I have been going crazy trying to figure out how to tell the hotel what they need to do to fix it. The hotel needs one or two of our tech kids from school to come and get this working. We even moved to another room for Wi-Fi connection only to have that halls access point go out. To top that off, I just lost all of our videos from our newly acquired digital video camera. (Not the hotels fault I’m afraid) It is a good reminder that while I desire to use all this stuff to communicate with you, what is most important is our time with Vanda.

Today I started teaching Vanda to juggle. This turned out to be a great way to connect. She wants to connect but does not know how, and I think sometimes life gets a bit confusing for her. Tonight I realized that I will be her first father. Her father died before she was born and the orphanages are run by women. When I saw her getting distant again tonight, I went and rubbed her back and talked to her about what a father is for. I said a father is for playing, teaching, helping, protecting, and even for tickling when the need arises. This seemed to resonate with her, what a wonderful journey. I will continue to look to you fathers out there as we support each other in our difficult role as fathers.

We have no had 2 full days in Daugavpils, Latvia, where Vanda was born and where we will be until March 9th. Here is a good description of our life here from Beth:

We have been shopping here and have food and snacks in the room for lunch. We found cheese and bread and fruit and carrots and chips, even peanut butter and jelly! Breakfast is included, although unlike the hotel in Riga, the only who likes the food here is Kirk! Vanda and I eat cereal! We have been eating out for dinner. The first night we ate at Gubernators, great name! Very Russian like ambiance, and my food was served in a small individual sized crock pot! Carrots, cauliflower, broccoli and pelmini, a new found food, kind of like dumplings filled with sausage, pretty good, really! Kirk had baked chicken with mushrooms and potatoes with cheese. Vanda was nervous and did not eat.....love is patient.....

The second night, which was last night, we found Cili Pica, pronounced "chili pizza"! YUM, we discovered pizza, NOT like ours, but still good! Fresh mushrooms, cheese and tomatoes on one, and Kirk and Vanda shared one that had a "spicy" symbol, and since I could not recognize anything on it except for onions and jalapeno peppers, I opted NOT to try it!! Vanda ate her food! Yeah! Feeling better..... Tonight we went there again at her request! This was a breakthrough, the first time she actually voiced her desire.

So far our days include playing games like Uno and Spot It (fun if you haven't tried it!), word find puzzles, reading, listening to music, watching movies, some computer time, and in fact Kirk and Vanda are playing Cafe Life on Facebook currently....anything to keep her engaged! Today we had some bible reading and bible study, in Genesis 1, which she said "I know"....it is familiar to her.....reading the Bible was a reminder to each of us that God has a plan. Kirk plans on doing daily Bible reading with her. It will strengthen her spirit and help with her English. We take daily walks and sometimes twice daily! Yesterday's walk included finding the grocery store. Each restaurant and outing is at least 15 minutes one way, so we are happy for the exercise and fresh air!! Tomorrow we will walk to the orphan courthouse and meet with the social worker and court director to see how things are going....The first of probably three visits all together...

Each day we have seen laughter, smiles and ever increasing eye contact ......also tears each day, seems to come after walking outside.....we have great compassion for her... who knows what these 14 years have been like, and it seems memories of Daugavpils haunt her, and then to think how scary it must be to be leaving everything you've ever known.....she never cried this summer with us, so perhaps she is feeling safe....she lets us rub her back and talk quietly with her to encourage her, and Kirk is very good at this....we definitely have good teamwork going on here in EVERY situation! When I am impatient with how slowly she lets us connect with her heart, Kirk is patient. No hugs yet....I suppose that she may be open to hugging one day....She is also uncomfortable when we are outside the hotel room in public, with last night at Cili Pica an exception......Kirk assures me that although it may take time, she will! When she is with her foster family, and when she is talking to them on the phone and via Skype, she is giggly and smiling and very animated! She has been with her foster family for almost three years now, having left the orphanage at age 11, and she calls the orphanage "the children's home"....there must have been a transition there....When Kirk is doing schoolwork, I am silly with Vanda playing games. Kirk is good at reaching her through puppets and play..... Thank you, God! Love is patient, love is kind......

We Skype our dear friends, Mike and Julie VanHoy and their adoptive daughter, Viktorija, every day, and that is much fun, usually much laughter about how we can appreciate each other's journeys here!! They are about 10 days ahead of us in their journey, now back in Riga and they return to North Carolina next Wednesday.

Thank you for being a part of this wonderful journey, as we explore and even define the role of family.

Kirk & Beth

I did manage to save one video of Beth and Vanda.

P.S.

All our pictures are posted with captions.at: https://picasaweb.google.com/Bleavins/LatviaTrip1#

Spring will come

2011-02-25T17:07:00.001-05:00

   Today we were reunited with Vanda. As we drove the 3 hours to meet her at the Orphan court at 2:00pm, the excitement and wonder built. What would it be like? How would she respond? What are we doing traveling half way around the world to adopt a teenager?? Does this make any sense?

   The weather is cold, High today 23F (much warmer than its been), currently its 14F at 10pm. The good news is that the forecast is for each day to be a little warmer.

   And I would say that is the same forecast for our time with our new daughter Vanda. She is currently sleeping as it has been a very full day. Not so much in the way of schedule, but of emotional excitement and wonder on her part as well. I'm afraid we embarrassed our 14 year old a bit with our jubilant hugs and excited greetings. We went through a time of her being very shy and reserved. This is normal for her and we recognized it from our time with her this summer. After some good time of unpacking, sharing gifts, and playing some games, the shyness started to fade.

   The answer to my question came to me as we were walking home from the restaurant we had dinner at. Vanda was not hungry, did not eat, and did not talk much. She did not even drink the Pepsi she ordered. I could see that there was much going on in side but it did not show on the outside. That's when the answer came to me. We are adopting this girl, 14 and from a land far away because amazing enough she fits into our family. I too am one whose outside action don't always match the thoughts going on inside. She shares Beth's smile and laughter, and has my introspective and creative thoughts on the inside. She needs us and we need her. It is part of a plan much beyond our ability to "pick" a child. It's amazing what happens when we become open to God's insightful leading.

   The room is small, the internet is slow, and the town is not Davidson, but we could not be happier. We were with Vanda less than 6 hours and we were sharing pictures, of her childhood, playing games, laughing, and enjoying each other. Like to forecast, we look forward to each day becoming a bit warmer as the cold grip of winter makes its way towards spring. Thank you for sharing in our journey.

The old bridge into Riga

A stuffed Panda. Just perfect. Vanda loves Panda

Look, the Panda can Talk!

Connecting,

Kirk, Beth, Vanda

More pictures can be found at https://picasaweb.google.com/Bleavins/LatviaTrip1#

Wow, we are here in Riga, Latvia!

2011-02-24T16:40:00.002-05:00

What is most wonderful is-- we are not here alone. Yes, I know there are a bunch of people in Riga, but YOU are here with us, and we can truly feel it as part of God's blessing on this journey. A member for church met us at target as we were getting last minute items. Literally, this was Wednesday mid-day and we left Wednesday night. While there at Target, she gave us some devotionals, and we prayed right there in the middle of Target. Wow! When we got home, we Skyped, our friends who are ahead of us in Latvia and we prayed via Skype. There are so many other examples that I'd be typing all night long if I were to write about them all. Your interest and support is truly felt, and has affirmed we are doing something special, and extremely worthy of the sacrifice. If I'm not mistaken, this is how Christ's church is supposed to function.

We had one slight obstacle when we arrived at the airport. We had bought a round trip ticket for Vanda as that was the only way I could find to get us on the same flights. Well, when we arrived to get our e-tickets, we find that they will have to cancel her ticket because Vanda is not her to start it. At first he says, there is noting he can do, that is just the way the system works. This is where it gets good. We tell the attendant that we are adopting a girl from Latvia, and we need her to be on the same flight back with us. He then goes to get a manager, Patsy, and she happily, made the necessary calls and got it taken care of in short order. She had the greatest smile on her face as she explained the situation to the people on the other end of the phone. We shared her a picture of Vanda, and the loved it. It is great how people are so happy to get behind an honorable cause.

Another slight bump came 8 hours later. It was good to get to Frankfurt with a 4 hour layover. There we felt like mice is a wandering maze, and we had to navigate and figure out how and where to get our tickets for the flight to Riga. (squeak, squeak, who moved my cheese?....) As you see, we made it.

OK, its been a great day, now to attempt rest before seeing Vanda tomorrow!

Part of the adopted,

Kirk & Beth

More pictures can be found here: https://picasaweb.google.com/Bleavins/LatviaTrip1#

FrankFurt & Snow

Hmmmm

Anybody seen an attendant to sell us a ticket?

Germany!

That lake is frozen, and with tire tracks on it!

Ahhh in Riga

Preparing for the present - A gift of immeasurable value

2011-02-20T18:25:00.001-05:00

In just a few days we start the next part of this journey; this week we leave for Latvia to be reunited with our daughter Vanda! We have been preparing for this opportunity since August, and amazingly now it is upon us. The latest adventure was in finding airline tickets. It was three anxious days in trying to book the flights!!. It was easy to get a ticket to Latvia but nearly impossible to get back. After spending 60 minutes or more with a travel agent, I was ready to purchase the tickets only to find out our debit card had a limit on it preventing us from buying the tickets, and it was after 5pm, so the bank could not help. I would have to wait until the next day as I watched the prices increase in what seemed like hourly. We will see how many problems we have with our connections!! Did I tell you that on the way back, we have 4 stops! Ahhhh… the excitement of international travel. I just need to keep reminding Beth (and myself) we are on an adventure.

And what a grand adventure we have been on. We knew we were on a journey of faith, and we have not been disappointed. We have never been busier with juggling jobs, college work, family, the flu, and all the preparations for this grand moment. Back in August this task seemed so big with many unanswered questions. Looking back, we have seen the guiding of Gods hand on our lives and on Vanda’s from even before we began this process. While we may be tired, we have, and continue to receive, all the support we need.

The successful fundraising is only part of the story. Our employers are being so supportive of the process. Hospice is giving Beth time off, and in addition to the school giving me time of, they have been awesome, helping me put together a custom educational plan for Vanda when she gets here. It will be like homeschooling but she will be with me in the school. The staff at my school surprised me with a Teen Shower. While we all agreed that our middle school teens needed a shower, this one was in celebration and support of Vanda’s arrival. We received many valuable gifts and gift cards at my school last week. In addition, the entire 7^th grade class has written letters to Vanda. I can’t wait to present her with 100 letters from the kids at our school.

Today the women of the church gave a shower for Vanda’s arrival. Check out the amazing blanket they made for Vanda. Vanda said her favorite colors are red and black. Wow! Our neighbors have stepped up to take care of our home, my mother and Alyssa’s godparents along with dear friends and family who will care for Alyssa, friends providing technology, and people giving us warm clothes for our time in a very different world. While we are in balmy North Carolina, getting a taste of spring, the weather there is a serious winter cold of 2 to 13 degrees today. Our very southern bodies may be in for a bit of adjustment.

It has become very evident we are not alone in this adventure. We are part of a growing community that we know is essential to raising kids. Whether raising a child that was born to us, or a teenager that has waited patiently for us, raising kids requires community. Yesterday we talked to one of Vanda's former foster sisters to whom she is close. She was recently adopted and now lives in the Atlanta area. Our friends, the VanHoys, are there now in Latvia with their new daughter, Viktorija. They live 15 minutes from us. Our church, where this adventure started, continues to grow in its support of orphans and adoption.

While we had hoped to see Vanda for Christmas, instead she will be here for Easter. I can't help thinking of all the metaphors. When we return with our new daughter, it will be almost springtime. We will bring her from the cold winter to a warm and inviting spring. How appropriate, Easter, a time of new life that springs forth from the sacrifice of winter’s love.

Kirk
One of the adopted

If you would like to be on our prayer list, let me know. I give regular updates on our progress, as well as the specifics of our needs.

I don’t know, I don't know

2011-01-30T22:07:00.000-05:00

I don’t know

These are words we hear often when talking to Vanda, more often that I would like, but I’m beginning to understand.

It goes something like this….

"How are you today Vanda?"

"Good"

"What are you doing?"

"I don’t know"

"What did you do today?"

"I don’t know"

"Would you like to play a game of checkers?"

"I don’t know"

"What would you like to do with us in Latvia?"

"I don’t know"

This used to really frustrate me as I really want to know and connect with her. After all, she is our daughter. (We are just waiting for the governments of this world to acknowledge this fact.) Why should communication be so hard? We are only talking over 7 time zones, cultural differences, generational differences, and duh, she is a teenager…. We know from experience, sometimes all you get from a teenager living in your own home is, “I don’t know”, let alone one almost halfway around the globe.

When Vanda first returned, we received a few emails. Then we started Skyping with video. Then her camera broke and we just talked via Skype with an occasional phone call. Now we get mostly emoticons, (those assorted smile faces with different expressions. J ) and a bunch of “I don’t knows”. As time passes and we wait and wait, this seems to be more difficult for Vanda. It has been 5 months since she was here.

I am beginning to understand that she really does not know. This adventure we are on is life changing for all of us. She has been an orphan all her life, has very little idea of what life in America is, or what life in school will be, or even being a regular part of our family. She is 14, has many friends and I’m sure has grown accustomed to her life in the foster home for the last 3 years. She also knows, like we do, that while life is good now, her options for a fulfilled life in Latvia are extremely limited as she approaches her 16^th birthday, the age at which orphans age out of the system. I can truly say that I don’t know what it’s like to be an orphan all my life. Well that is until I stop and think. I was an orphan, until I became adopted into God’s merciful family. When faced with questions from our heavenly Father, I hear,… Kirk, will you start taking better care of yourself? Kirk, will you love others as I have loved you? Kirk, will you trust me? My response is…………. Uhmmm “I don’t know?” There are so many life lessons to be found in the act of adoption.

We are very thankful for the time we had with Vanda this summer, when we did get the opportunity to connect. She too, remembers our time together, and I believe that is what we all are using to get us through this time of waiting. We often talk of our time together this summer, and I’ve been sharing some of my favorite pictures with her. I even wrote her a poem. “Fond of Vanda.” We had truly hoped we would be traveling January/ February but now it looks like March/ April. Only God knows and we will trust in His timing. Things just work out better when we do.

Speaking of our travel date, we did have a bit of excitement this week. Our friends, who we’ve been going through this adoption with, just received their notice and are traveling the middle of February to pick up their daughter. We are next! This past Thursday, Beth was sick at home, and catching up on email. She read an email from our adoption agency which had the date March 11th! She thought, “It’s our travel date! Yippee! Yahoo!” So Beth excitedly calls me at school, and shares this wonderful news. Wow! My mind starts reeling, a bit in disbelief that this is actually going to happen. I start thinking of who to tell first? My principal, some close teachers who’ve been so supportive of the adoption, who? I decide I need to check the email myself so as to have printed proof to show others. I go to look, and find that the March 11^th date is actually -- March 11, 2003 , the date the article of law in Latvia pertaining to adoption was passed. I quickly called back my lovely wife, and suggested she reconsider spreading the news any further. Hmmm, as I’ve been teaching my kids in school, “attention to detail”, is an important skill.

Waiting on a date,

Kirk
One of the adopted

* If you would like to be on our prayer list, let me know. I give regular updates on our progress, as well as the specifics of our needs.

Who is in charge here?

2011-01-08T18:20:00.001-05:00

I am sure many of you have the same thought as I: Wow, what a year! Or was it: Whew, what a year?

Over the past few years, Beth’s family has had a fun tradition. Beth’s dad comes up with a variety of topics and everyone submits their predictions. At the end of the year, he awards a prize to the winner. I rarely do very well. My ability to predict the future is extremely limited. Last January, had I attempted to predict what would happen in 2010, I would have been nowhere close.

I think there is a simple reason we can't predict the future -- we are not in charge! That seems plainly clear to me as I look back. I go back to the story of the angel telling Mary what is about to happen to her. It all must have sounded so absurd and scary. So I thought I'd try to write what an angel might have said to me last January.

Your family will grow. (Go on, tell me more)

You will meet a girl and she will capture your heart. (Sounds like trouble)

You will become more united with your wife. (How does this fit with the previous?)

Your relationship with your children will grow.

You will become a full time teacher and have your own classroom before finishing your degree (What happened to one step at a time?)

You will face new challenges. (I'm not so sure I'm done with my current challenges)

You will be called to a new church. (I’m listening)

You will attend funerals and weddings. (Do I get to pick?)

You will learn to get by on less sleep and do more. (Not again)

You will have to document your life and present it to people in strange lands. (huh?)

You will learn more of the needs of God's children around the world.

You and your wife will raise more than $15,000 for a very worthy cause. (You are kidding me, right? I don't do fundraising, remember?)

You will be challenged to do more than you think can be done.

Had I been presented with the above, I don't think I would have responded as well as Mary and Joseph did with their amazing news. Instead, I likely would have annoyed the messenger with my questions and comments and received some sort of curse. Then I would have fallen into worry and despair. How is this all possible? I'm already doing as much as I can. (Do angels ever say you are going sailing to a beach in the Caribbean?)

While I may still try to foresee what the future holds, sometimes it is really better to not know. Looking back, I don’t see where I would change anything! It’s all good.

Do yourself a favor and never try to tell God you are doing as much as you can. He will reply, "My grace is sufficient for you,” and He will prove you wrong.

I sometimes wonder if there is anything I should not be doing, but it is all good, so I will keep at it, trying my best to do what I’ve been called to do. So let the adventures continue! I look forward to sharing more adventures with you in this new year, new decade!

We are waiting for an invitation from Latvia. We are told this may take some time. Good thing I'm not in charge :-)

Kirk

If you would like to be on our prayer list, let me know. I give regular updates on our progress, as well as the specifics of our needs.

Adoption = Adventure

2010-12-16T21:38:00.004-05:00

So what does one do while sitting in a car in the cold rain, waiting on documents to be processed? I know I’ll share our adventure with our faithful friends.

We have had a lot happen in the last couple weeks. While school is winding down for the year, (happy dance) a lot is happing with our adoption. Last week we had a great time at a fundraiser at the Friendly’s in Huntersville. The owners, in conjunction with our church youth group, set up a family night event with 10% of the evening profits to go to our adoption. It was fun to talk to people and introduce Vanda via a movie of pictures projected on a sheet that our youth pastor had set up. We all had fun, and the place was full all evening! Well up until Alyssa had too much fun, (Yes there is such a thing) and after dropping her ice cream, started crying. She then progressed to coughing, which was followed by her showing us her dinner, all her dinner -- all over the floor. Fortunately, most of it landed on a carpet, which the staff, quickly rolled up and moved outside. Despite the ending, we were encouraged by so many who wanted to show their support for Vanda. Our hope is that this youth group will become part of Vanda's support structure here.

At this point, we were hopeful to receive notice from Latvia before Christmas. Well, that did not last long. Due to the fingerprinting escapade we thought I was going to have to run to Raleigh to get it certified, and we were scrambling to see if it all could be done in less than 24 hours to get it to a family leaving for Latvia. Well, as we resigned that it was not going to happen, we receive an email, saying a scanned copy would suffice for now and we could just mail the document for certification in Raleigh. All right! We are on track again, or so we thought.

A few days later, we get another email saying requirements have changed, and we need to send three apostilled certified copies of our divorce documents, per divorce, to Latvia as soon as possible as our paperwork is now waiting on it….Great, another ASAP, jump through hoops as fast as we can trick. Are we part of a political circus act or what?

So -- Beth was able to get to the courthouse to get our copies, and I made plans to take off Thursday to Drive to Raleigh. Then we would have to overnight the documents to get them to a couple in Buffalo NY who are leaving Friday Noon. Nothing like a little excitement to get the heart a pumping.

Speaking of Buffalo, It only gets better. The weather forecast was for snow, sleet, and freezing rain. (I can't decide which of these I like more.) I leave the house at 5 am and get to experience all the above weather. Returning to days gone by of living up North, I try to remember what was required when driving in such nasty stuff. Let me see, something to do with brakes…. I am thankful for a nice invention (since those days of old when we had to pump brakes) of anti-lock brakes. Yes, I had opportunity to test them, and they worked great, because at times I was driving on a thin sheet of ice. Weeeee look mom, no brakes. (I'm ok mom, I'm not writing this from the hospital.) At one point in the pre-dawn morning, I saw a car in my rear view mirror swerve, and then smoothly, slid off the road and then came to a sudden stop in the grass. Not what the driver planned on for the morning, I’m sure. The police were busy this morning. After about 2.5 hours of this fun, I stopped at a gas station to de-ice my wipers. There was more ice than wiper, and for some reason, they were not working well. Now to continue with the journey.

Many of you know I am directionally impaired and require such things as a map or in these days, a GPS to get anywhere. I had my phone in GPS mode when it decided it had enough fun as well. Turns out my car charger was not able to keep up with the demands of my phone, and the battery died. Yikes, I’m driving on ice and don’t know where I’m going. Yee - hah. (Perhaps I need to invest in homing pigeons.) I knew I should have printed out those directions. I continue on, trying to remember the way, while I try to coax my phone to accept a few electrons and charge. At the last moment it came on and told me to take the next right. Ahh, there the place is.

It is 9:15, I drop off the papers, and then call my wife. Beth answers and says, “I thought you were going to call when you got there.” I answer, "that is what I’m doing; a mere 4 hours after leaving, I have arrived." Now I have to wait until 1:30 and find a place to overnight the documents. A simple task for a directionally impaired paperwork road warrior. The ride back promises to be less of an adventure, as the freezing rain has turned to a cold wet rain.

Even after all this effort, we did not get our documents to the Family leaving for Latvia on Friday. UPS "overlooked" our package which was scheduled for a guaranteed 10:30 delivery in Buffalo. This resulted in me spending a couple of hours emailing, phone calling, and waiting with UPS and others to find the package and determine a course of action. At this point they have agreed to send the documents to Latvia. It won't leave until Monday as they needed various approvals as I insisted they were to pay the cost of getting it there. The agent I was working with asked me what to do if there is an extra cost associated with sending the package. My response was to have them talk to me (the unhappy customer). She said that department did not like talking to the customers,only the agents. I said, "fine, then just get the package there."

It would seem that sometimes we need to fight for our children. In this case, I was fighting with phone, email and paper.

Like all good and worthy adventures, we are growing because of it. God truly provides, both the challenges we need to grow and the means to go through them. I am very thankful, a bit tired, but thankful.

Obstacles and a growing love

2010-12-06T23:41:00.000-05:00

As we approach the Christmas holiday, we all think of our kids. While Vanda is not officially our child, our hearts do not know that and they beat for joy when we hear her sweet voice. Just like our other children, we love learning about what is going on in their lives, and being a part of their growing process. We just have two small issues of her being so far away and speaking another language. I am convinced that it is love which bridges the gap. Love is such an amazing thing, a miracle in and of itself. I can’t explain it, let alone understand it.

So how do we send love to a child who is over 4000 miles away, in a different language and culture? This is new territory for us. This week during one of our Skype conversations together we drew this picture. While neither Beth nor I claim to be an artist, it is something fun we can do with Vanda that helps cross the divide of miles and language. We have been thinking of what we can send to Vanda for Christmas. So what do you give someone who has nothing? While Vanda does have some possessions, they all can fit into a small backpack; such is the life of an orphan. I’ve thought about that this week, and how different life is for us having grown up with a family in the USA. As a child, I had “my” room, clothes, toys, etc. I doubt I will ever fully understand the life of an orphan but I am learning.

Many of you have commented on how you like being a part of our adventure through this blog. I am glad as this adventure is far too big not to share, and it is much more than the money. It is a journey of education and an exploration into the depths of love, compassion, commitment, and sharing of relationships. Your prayers and comments encourage us greatly in this process. As we progress through the paperwork jungle, I am realizing that the waiting process may be harder on us than it is on Vanda.

We have had a minor delay in the process with Beth’s fingers. It would seem she is well suited to be a thief. (Who would have thought this?) She has no printable fingerprints as her fingers are too smooth. As a result, she has had to go to Charlotte twice, get two rejection letters from Texas, and spend an hour at the Davidson police station getting a letter saying they have no record of her being a criminal. The good news is, as of Thursday, we have been approved! Now we are waiting, (there’s that waiting thing again) for the official letter, and will have to take it to Raleigh to get an apostille so it can be sent to Latvia. Our hope is to be able to send it with another family who is traveling to Latvia instead of paying DHL $120 to take it. Sometimes I wonder why there are so many barriers, but I am reminded that to be a good parent, (or even a husband for that matter), we have to be committed, regardless of the barriers. In doing so our love is strengthened and God is glorified.

Speaking of things outside our control, our fundraising is going well. it seems every day someone asks if they can help in both big and small ways. One of the big ways people are helping is where we have had people offering to organize fundraisers for us. (It must be obvious, this is not our gift.) Our most recent is the Family Night at Friendly’s. What is better than it being a fundraiser, is it is an opportunity to for the youth to start to connect to with Vanda. We hope this group to become one of Vanda’s support groups as she transitions to life in America. One of the kids in the group was also adopted from East Europe as a teenager.

We feel a great sense of community and we share this adventure with our friends and family.

Each of the obstacles we face, I am certain, will serve as a tool for growth for us and for Vanda. Just as a spring flower struggles against the dirt and eventually breaks through to reveal its regal petals, this journey will be the start of helping a Vanda come into the sunlight of her life and in the process our roots will grow deeper.

Peace and strength to you this Christmas season,

Commitment makes all the difference

2010-11-21T20:24:00.001-05:00

Wow, I’m still recovering from this week, and in more ways than one. (I came down with a bad case of poison ivy.) I remember saying to Beth, when we were looking for a widow's house to serve, that we wanted something worthy of the challenge, something that would be on par with our undertaking of adopting Vanda. No fear, if you desire challenges, God does provide.

Just in case you are just joining our adventure, adoption from Latvia is rather expensive, almost twice as some other countries. One of the fundraiser opportunities we were offered was to have volunteers seek sponsorships to work on a widow’s house, "Project Wanda for Vanda". It’s similar to getting sponsors to walk for a cause, but in this case, to spend a day working on a widow’s house.
We were committed to the event, but we did not know if we could get others to make the same dedication of their time and talents. Would there be enough people, supplies, time, planning, communication, envelopes, stamps, etc.? Just like life, it was full of uncertainties. We had people calling in sick the night before, and then others calling us in the morning to say "We're on our way. We forgot to email you we were coming". Why do I worry and stress? The help we needed, for all that needed to be done, and more, was on its way.

We hope that is the message Vanda is getting: the family you have waited for and longed for all your life is on its way. There are many preparations to be made, and even uncertainties. I can’t imagine the uncertainties that are likely locked up in this girl’s emotions. Our hope is that she knows the commitment we have made. It’s the commitment which makes all the difference. Initially we were just hosting Vanda this summer, but when we made the commitment to adopt the relationship took on a whole new perspective. I am still in awe of the change the commitment made in us. It is hard to describe, but our love rapidly expanded and it was then, at that point, she became our daughter, just like our other children, secure in our hearts. We are just waiting on the cooperation of a couple of countries (Latvia and the U.S.) to help us out.

We have found the same in our marriage, and even more so in our relationship to God. It is the commitment we have, while not necessarily providing all the answers, that ensures hope, secure hope that we will have all we need to do even the things that are hard to comprehend. Commitment is part of love.

Back to the "Wanda for Vanda Project", God’s blessings on us was first shown when we saw the weather forecast. The day was perfect. The weather was warm and inviting as was the fellowship: a cool bright expectant morning, quickly warming up to a sunny day with temperatures in the 70’s. The abundance we would be provided with, started first thing when two members of our team showed up with a car full of bagels from New York Bagels in Mooresville. They went in asking for some day-old bagels, and when they told the owners what the bagels were for, the owners baked more, and literally filled up the trunk of their small car. Not only did people volunteer their time, they paid for supplies out of their own pocket. Things like flowers, doors, gates, light switches, all seem to magically appear! When people saw a need, they jumped at the opportunity to provide. It was a day full of smiles and hard work. I know of few things that are better than spending the day with faithful brothers and sisters while working on a project benefitting those in need. Wanda was walking a few inches above the improving ground the entire day. Much of her family chose to spend the day and be part of the event. If you have not seen the video that our friend David did, you need to. It does a great job capturing the heart of the event. The links are below. We are still accepting donations and are very blessed by the outpouring of compassion we are experiencing. Please feel free to pass it on. My favorite quote of the day is when my lovely wife was thanking Reed, and many others, for “sacrificing your whole day to devote to this project.” And Reed’s response was, "It is not a sacrifice; it's what we're supposed to do.
And that is all we are striving to do, just what we have been asked to do. We have been adopted into a much greater family, the family of God, and we are excited that we have been given the opportunity to do the same for Vanda.

Thank you for all the support, encouragement, notes, comments, and of course, prayers. This journey would not be possible without it.

Our video is listed at http://www.lifesongfororphans.org/bhProj.html. Scroll about half way down to see it as they are organized by project date. Our date is Nov. 13.

If you have not read or support letter, you can find it here. Feel free to pass it along to others who may want to share in our adventure. http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4667172/Bleavins_Support%20Letter_b.pdf

On the path together,

Kirk, Beth, Sarah, Brenden, Alyssa, and Vanda too!

My time in the school of compassion….

2010-11-08T23:41:00.000-05:00

Sunday we talked with Vanda via Skype. She has an hour a day to be on the computer, and she chooses to spend it talking with us. I’ve been searching for activities we can do online that will help step across the cultural and communication divide. Sunday, I found a simple drawing tool that allows us to draw together. Alyssa, Beth, Vanda and I all had fun making our family picture. If you want to try it go to http://flockdraw.com/.

During our talk, I did get a glimpse into her world in comparison to our world. Somehow, we were talking about ages and we asked Vanda if she wanted to be 16 or even 18 years old. She said no to both. I know many 14 year olds just think they can’t wait for these milestones of life but in Vanda’s world, it is not so exciting. Actually, I would guess it is a time of great fear and anxiety. An orphan in Eastern Europe has a very uncertain and sometimes dark future ahead of them when they age out of the system at age 16.

In the church, last Sunday was Orphan Sunday. As I reflect back to a year ago, the word “orphan” did not carry the weight in our life as it does now. It’s easy to think that we are aware of the world around us, but I’m finding that may not be the case. We have learned so much over the past year. The cry of the orphan is real, and when we made the effort to listen to that cry, our hearts were truly moved. Are we solving the orphan problem by adopting Vanda? No. Have our compassion and love been expanded? Yes. Does the life of an individual matter? Of course! Vanda thinks so. We all have more to learn but I’m excited, and encouraged about the road ahead as Vanda and our family will be learning and growing together.

This process of adoption is teaching me more about love. It’s a term we use often and loosely but it has much more depth than we often acknowledge. Love is an action much more than a feeling. Love is a choice, not forced. Love requires cost. The greater the love, the greater the sacrifice. Love is messy and unpredictable. But above all, “Love is patient, love is kind… and now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” I Cor. 13

These pictures are from Vanda. A picture is really worth a thousand words.

To know ways you can help an orphan visit here:

http://hopefororphans.org/images/mmDocument/HFO_Ten_Ways_Poster.pdf

Community 101

2010-10-31T11:20:00.047-04:00

Yesterday we talked to Vanda and I played a couple games of checkers online with her. It was fun and I learned to play Russian checkers. Since the language is a barrier, I’ve been searching for some online activities we could engage her in. She does enjoy playing games and recently sent us this picture of her bowling (she is proud of her strike!) Communication of feelings for a young adolescent is hard as it is, without the added difficulty of trying to communicate in a foreign language. I look forward to the day we can communicate real feelings in a common language. (I realize that this may be many years away, and an ongoing journey we travel with our children.)

Communication is hard, even after attempting it for half a century! Sometimes, when people ask “how is it going?” I’m not sure how to answer. In some ways our life is very simple, yet it is very full. It is simple as our focus is: our family, jobs, school, and the adoption. When sharing with people all that is going on in our life, people comment, “I don’t know how you do it all.” If the truth is to be known, we don’t. Many things are dropped, but all the important things are accomplished with much assistance from the extended family that God has provided. As I walk along this path called life, some of the best life has to offer is found in the various areas of community we have access to.

These relationships can help us with the troubles of this life. Our prayer is that we as parents, can provide some degree of comfort to our kids in such a confusing and troubled world; acknowledging that our ability is severely limited by our own weaknesses. We are glad we’ve been given this opportunity to extend this gift to Vanda. In church today I was reminded of how our relationship with Christ, can remove anxiety from our lives. Just before he headed to the cross, he was telling his disciples “Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.” (John 14:1 NIV Read the short chapter for the whole story.) Therefore, the cure for anxiety: to trust in the future, a future which is promised to us through our relationship with Christ. As we go through this uncertain process, not unlike many situations we all face, I need to remember this.

Saturday we had some wonderful people over to help us stuff, sort, and label envelopes. Activities like this normally drive me crazy, but with friends helping, it was actually fun. We were stuffing a large stack of envelopes to help spread the word, and to allow the extended community we have been blessed with to participate in our efforts in bringing Vanda home. In other words we are fund-raising. In our circle of friends there are few who enjoy fund-raising. Just the mention of the word can cause people run away screaming in fear (ok I exaggerate a bit). Why is money always such a tricky subject? Perhaps we are afraid to admit, the power it has over us…

Regardless, we would love it if you would not only read our letter but for you to pass it along to other who may want to share in our adventure. You can read it at:

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4667172/Bleavins_Support%20Letter_b.pdf

Our widow project is listed at http://www.lifesongfororphans.org/bhProj.html. Scroll about half way down to see it as they are organized by project date. Our date is Nov. 13. letter.
Thank you for your continued prayers and support.

On the path together,

Kirk, Beth and our precious family

Running one step at a time

2010-10-24T23:50:00.000-04:00

Whoa, I am amazed at the range of emotions and experiences that can happen in a week. I will do what I can to fill you in on this week’s adventures. At times, it’s such a blur.

Brenden, Beth, Sarah, Kirk, Alyssa, Vanda

We start the week following up on some nagging questions which I have had for some time. What about Vanda’s younger brother? Where does he fit in this adoption puzzle? What is their connection with each other? What will the impact of them being separated?

   Vanda came with her half-brother to the U.S. in the summer of 2009 but since they have been legally separated. We did inquire with the adoption agency about her brother and they asked the lawyer who helps with the adoptions and has communicated with this foster family. The bottom line is Vanda does not want to be adopted with her brother and he has indicated he would like to stay in Latvia. It is with is situations like this which are hard for those of us who have never experienced life as an orphan. Relationships in an orphanage are different than those in a family. In some ways this was another test of our faith. How much is God asking of us? Are we willing? How large is our love? I am reminded that love grows when it is stretched.

   Speaking of being stretched, we are running as hard as we can in getting our fundraising efforts underway. Our first big fundraiser is actually exciting. We have a team of about a dozen people who will ask people to sponsor them for a day’s work on a widow’s house; much more fun than playing golf. (I can say this as golfing and I don’t get along very well). I did not expect it, but finding a widow to help was not an easy task and at times, even stressful as our whole project depends on her. I guess I was expecting to go to “Widows R Us” and pick from the selection… After asking everyone we knew, one of our team had a great contact. Beth is so tickled that our widow’s name rhymes with Vanda. Meet Wanda:

Wanda Plyler is about 53 years old, was married to Monroe Plyler until he died in 2007. She worked at a daycare caring for infants/toddlers for over 10 years until she was laid off about 9 months ago. She can’t drive (never had a car or license) and took the bus to work.

   Check out the videos at http://bothhandsfoundation.org/. This week our project will be listed at http://www.lifesongfororphans.org/bhProj.html. Once it is listed there we will be asking everyone to help spread the word.

   I never have been much of a runner (except when someone is chasing me) but I do feel like we are participating in a great marathon, with rewards beyond measure.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith…” Hebrews 12:1-2 (NLT)

Thank you for your continued prayers and support.

On the path together,
Kirk & Beth and our precious family

The Tale of The Apostille*

2010-10-16T21:45:00.000-04:00

In order to have all of our documents ready to send to Latvia, all notarized copies require the North Carolinas State Seal, an Apostille, verifying that, in fact, all notaries were in fact valid. One has to drive to Raleigh to accomplish this, If you want it done in one day! Otherwise, the mailing process could take seven days or more! So, in our efforts to speed up the process, thus the Tale of the Apostille!

Expectations are an interesting concept. I was expecting to drive three hours to Raleigh, drop off our Dossier paperwork, do my homework in a museum coffee shop, perhaps tour a museum, pick up our Dossier papers now officially apostilled, then drive three hours back to Davidson, and come home with time left for dinner and a few chores around the house. I was set to go, and it was only Monday! I had taken one day off to accomplish this task.

Hah!

After three false starts (air in the tires, forgetting this that and the other), I left Davidson by 6:30 in the morning and headed to Raleigh, our state’s capital. I arrived in Raleigh at 9:30am. When I dropped off our Dossier papers (41 notarized documents by the way), I was told that they would not be ready until the next day at 11:00am due to us having more than the daily limit of 30 documents! I pleaded my case of having taken the day off to do this today. I asked if there were any possibility that they could be apostilled that day, after all, I was there much before their 10:00am “same day service” time. The best I got from a rather impartial and matter-of-fact agent was that I could call their number later in the day to find out if they were done. So, with a hopeful attitude, I left and went on with my plan. At 2:00pm, after a peaceful time reading my science textbook in the park, I called their office. After a short time on hold, I received the dry and unmoving response that they would work hard at getting it done by tomorrow 11:00am. Ok, at that point I’d have to come up with another plan: I’d head home and find a way to return tomorrow.

Did I mention Alyssa was sick at home with Beth? Yes, she took the day off as well to take care of Alyssa. On my drive home, I came up with the plan to work on the network at school that evening (part of my job responsibilities). Then, tomorrow (Tuesday), I would teach until lunchtime and then leave school at 12:15pm to drive back to Raleigh (three hours) to pick up the apostilled documents. Beth and I would split the day taking care of Alyssa. She would stay with Alyssa in the morning; I would pick Alyssa up after lunch and take her with me to Raleigh, and that would allow Alyssa plenty of rest time in the car. That would remain to be seen.

Tuesday, I left school by 12:30pm, and Beth had Alyssa all ready to go. Alyssa and I arrived in Raleigh at 3:35pm and walked to the office to arrive well before my target of 4:00pm, plenty of time to deal with any potential issues before they close at 5:00. (There go those expectations again.) I asked for the apostilled documents, and there was a note on the top of the pile saying they needed supporting documents. Ah, I think, fortunately I have brought all of our spare documents. The first lady I talked with had that familiar cold and unmoving attitude. After some time passed, the actual person who does the apostille came out to the front desk and was very friendly and helpful but told me I’d have to come back tomorrow (Wednesday) or provide a fed ex overnight envelope for them to mail it to me, as her VanPool was about to arrive (her ride home). I pleaded my case again and even offered to drive her to her home, which was an hour away. I only needed three copies of a document apostilled at this point. After some more pleading (and praying), she agreed. Praise God, her VanPool (a van of about twelve other commuters) waited for her, and when she came rushing out to them, she had with her a note from me, thanking her for her kindness and compassion, and letting her know that she had been part of the story in helping bring our fourteen year old orphan to her forever home with us in North Carolina.

Alyssa and I stopped at Taco Bell on the way back home. Alyssa asked to go to the bathroom, a normal request. I stood outside the bathroom door and waited for her. I was about to check some emails on my phone, when I heard, “Daddy, can you please come in here and help me?” As I walked into the bathroom, I saw her standing there with a perplexed look at the substantial pile of vomit on the floor. While she was somewhat distressed, I was thankful this did not happen in the car. (We were in the convertible after all.)The rest of the evening was uneventful. We drove back to Davidson, and we got home around 9:00pm, glad to have completed this adventure.

By the way, Beth sent the apostilled documents overnight via Fed Ex to Georgia, where another wonderful adoptive family is traveling to Latvia today, Saturday, carrying our 41 apostilled documents to the officials in Latvia! Praise God!

Thanks to everyone for the prayers. They are truly felt, especially with all that is going on and during the times we feel under spiritual assault.

On the path together,

Kirk & Beth and our precious family

*http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/apostille

Another birthday surprise!

2010-10-10T21:57:00.002-04:00

Many of you have been asking how the adoption process going. I first want to say that both of us really appreciate your inquires. Your interest and prayers are an important part of this process.

Last week we celebrated Beth’s birthday, and Vanda, as she did for my birthday, sent a drawing commemorating the occasion. Vanda has trouble communicating with words and we are thankful she has an outlet in her art. The sketch for Beth was a bunny holding a bouquet of flowers saying, “Happy Birthday Mom”! (Bunnies and flowers some of Beth’s favorites)

We have organized all of our adoption papers into a growing accordion folder, which we have affectionately named “Vanda,” for our future life with Vanda is contained in these very important documents. Tomorrow I’m headed to Raleigh to get our dossier stamped with the state seal verifying all the notary seals on our documents. Then we will overnight this to a family who is headed to Latvia this Saturday. There the documents will be translated.

Over the past many weeks, I keep noticing similarities between our paperwork pregnancy (this adoption), and a natural pregnancy. I thought I’d share some that have come to me:

There is much preparation involved

Both are variable in time but about 9 months in length with much of it outside our control
The process grows over time and demands more and more from you
You love talking about the process
It has the tendency to consume your life.
We spend much time thinking (even daydreaming) and planning about our future with Vanda
It involves a loss of sleep, both now and later
Our attachment with Vanda grows over time
The waiting process is hard
You realize real love requires a sacrifice of yourself and your resources.
We are hopeful for the future for Vanda

On the path together,

Kirk & Beth

Adoption Testimony

2010-10-10T21:53:00.002-04:00

As one our required documents for an application we had to write up an adoption testimony. I thought I'd share it with those who are interested.

God has been actively involved in bringing Vanda Anna and us together for many years. We appreciate your willingness to be a part of His plan. Over the last five or so years, God has been stirring in our hearts, to know more about adoption. The words of James 1:27 kept coming to mind. “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world” (New International Version).

Two years ago, Latvia was looking at reducing funding for foster care. New Horizons for Children started including these foster homes in their listing of children for hosting. Vanda Anna was one of those selected. She had been in the home for just two years. Before that, she had been in an orphanage since the age of two. She came to the U.S.A. for the summer of 2009 and had a positive experience, but was not adopted.
At the start of this year, we found Life Fellowship, which has an active and growing orphan ministry. It was here we found out about New Horizons for Children, (NHFC) a hosting ministry for children of Eastern Europe. We also met and got too know others in the church who had both hosted and then adopted, because of this ministry.

Unknown to us until recently, we discovered that God had been at work in an interesting way: in February, when the NHFC Summer Hosting Program was introduced to Lake Norman Baptist Church, the pastor’s wife at that church randomly picked up pictures of two orphans from a pile of hundreds of orphans. She committed to pray for these two orphan girls, since she and her husband would not be able to host an orphan this year. Those two girls turned out to be Vanda and Viktorija, both from Latvia: Vanda now to be adopted by us, and Viktorija to be adopted by our newly made friends this summer, Mike and Julie VanHoy of Lake Norman Baptist Church. Little did we know that God had woven our lives together back in February, and we would not meet until June 30th, the night the girls arrived from Latvia.Their blog is linked as a favorite of this blog.

Starting in May, we began looking at the hundreds of pictures of orphans NHFC was actively seeking homes for the summer. It took some time and prayer, but both of us selected Vanda Anna as a child we wanted to host for the summer. After much anticipation and excitement on both sides, on June 26, 2010, Vanda Anna arrived to stay with us for 5 weeks. Each day we grew to love her more and more. By the second week, we were talking of adoption. By the third week, we were ready to commit.

We sent her back to Latvia on August 1, 2010. This was hard, but all of us hung on to the hope that we would soon be reunited. Since then, we have been in regular communication with Vanda since thanks to email, Skype and the telephone. Both Vanda and our family are very excited, and we wait for the day she can become part of our forever family.

Since August 1st, we have been working to bring our girl here as soon as possible. This whole journey has been about God’s amazing love, and His desire for us to share that love with others. His love is true sacrificial love, and through Jesus, he has shown us how to love others. We are adopted into His kingdom and He has called us to adopt Vanda into our home where the greatest gift we can offer our children is sharing the love of Christ in a way in which they too may accept the Father’s love and become adopted into the family of God.

She said "I love you!"

2010-09-22T22:04:00.001-04:00

Dear Family and friends,

Beth suggested I share with you some of the emails we have received from Vanda. Here is a sample starting with when she first went back to Latvia after this summer. Note the progression as time passes!

- Greetings mum and the daddy!!!
- Thank you so much for email!!!
- Thank you for email :-). I love you...
- Hi papa. Thank you for email today! I'm very happy today because we was can talk in skype. :-). I love you
- Hi mama! Thank you for the email... Now me no work computer and skype...,but i have email in phone. How are you, papa, Alyssa... and grammie shes foot good now;-(:-(:-|? I love you:-)

Vanda is not one to speak much of emotions, but as we can tell through her emails and in talking to her, she is growing closer to us as we are growing closer to her. God is good.

So did I hear you ask, “Where are we in the process?” Well I’m so glad you asked. It’s been a very busy 2 weeks but the good news is….We just reviewed our first draft of our Home Study!!! This is our first milestone on this adventure. What that means is we have submitted all the necessary forms and officially notarized documents to our social worker and she sent us a copy of the 17 page report for us to review. I was a bit stressful when I had to make 4 separate trips to the Charlotte courthouse to dig up, and clean up, some court documents. I had the pleasure of viewing microfiche reports on old and broken viewers, requesting documents for the basement archives and talking to numerous court staff. In the end I was able to get what was needed thanks to the helpful and friendly (surprising enough) clerks at the court house. The clerks at the courthouse enjoyed seeing Vanda’s picture as I thanked them for helping me bring her home.

As we have been working on compiling this paperwork I discovered the community of people we need to bring Vanda here is much larger than expected. We have our expected social worker, adoption agency and such as part of that community. In addition, we have our pastors, the church, our neighbors, other adoptive families and now I will add courthouse clerks! In addition we have our friends at the bank, whom we have seen on a regular basis getting stacks of papers notarized. There are others and I’m sure more to come as we travel this journey.

Just by the fact that you are reading this and they many ways your support us makes you part of the community responsible for assisting in this young girl becoming connected to her forever family. I am very thrilled and very thankful every time someone mentions they want to be part of this list or they read my blog about our journey with Vanda. Thank you your support and prayers are encouraging and sustaining. Going thought this process helps me see what love for another is about.

Next steps are, fundraising and Federal immigration approval. We are told the approval can take 30-45 days.

Prayers:

- Financial aid:

We’ve started financial aid applications with Lifesong and ShowHope

http://showhope.org/home.aspx

http://www.lifesongfororphans.org/

We can’t submit them until our home-study is complete but wanted to start and they can take 6-8 weeks.

We may apply for others but felt these were the two to start with.

- Vanda’s continued protection as she enters the adolescent years.

- Vanda’s faith. She does not know much about the Bible or the church and the support it offers.

- For Beth and I to be efficient with our time, balancing work, school, adoption, and family.

On the path together,

Kirk & Beth

Communication is key

2010-09-07T09:29:00.002-04:00

       While often I find myself talking about the mountain of paperwork or the obstacles in adoption, what really gets my heart going is talking about how God has orchestrated, and continues to clear the path for Vanda to become part of our Family. I find it amazing how my heart can be so quickly captured by this girl. Beth is the tender hearted one who connects easily with all she meets; I’m more cautious and slow. Perhaps it’s because I see the need in her for a father figure, or that she likes art and science, or that she is a visual creative person. What I believe it really is -- seeing our God lay out His plan and inviting us to journey on the path laid before us.

      One of the challenges is, of course, communication. Her English is good enough that we can get the simple facts of life down, but trying to discover what goes on in her thoughts and feelings is hard for any parent of an adolescent, let alone one that is from a different language and culture. Vanda loves to draw, and she uses her drawings as a form of communication. For my birthday I asked all my kids to write me a letter. (As a side note, I would highly recommend this. I received an encouraging and heartfelt letter from Sarah. better than any old tie!) Vanda’s letter took the form of this drawing of two penguins and hearts. It was a surprise to me, and she had mailed it from Latvia. I received it the day after my birthday. The emotions start to spin as I tell the story. To elaborate, the penguins are symbolic of Vanda and me. During her stay here she found out I liked penguins and we both played with a pair of penguin puppets here. One of the reasons I find penguins Interesting is the commitment the father has for the care of their child.

     OK, so as to not get too deep into the tear jerking emotions, let me return to the subject of communication. We have had many Skype conversations with Vanda prior to her starting school on September1st, some sessions lasting an hour! It is fun to see her giggle, laugh and be a silly girl. Yet, each time we try to find out a little more about her and her world. One of the things we have seen is that Vanda is not immune to peer-pressure and popular culture. Since returning to Latvia she had her ears pierced for multiple rings (small ones) and she has recently started listening to rap music. She says she does not understand the words in America rap (that’s a blessing) and the Russian rap ‘does not have bad words.’ Now that she has started school our conversations will be limited to the weekend to speak with her.

On the path together,

Kirk & Beth
P.S. Yesterday was Beth’s and my 12th anniversary! Our present is this adoption.

Extravagant love

2010-08-29T22:59:00.004-04:00

Faithful friends and family,

Sorry I missed sending out an update last week. We were away at Beth's brother's wedding.

Today our pastor was preaching from John chapter 12, where Mary dumps a about a pint of expensive perfume over Jesus. The lesson was about extravagant love, but I also saw in the passage immense thankfulness. (After all, Jesus did bring her brother back to life.) Now, this was not some cheap bottle Mary got from the drugstore; it was worth a year's wages for a common worker, the equivalent of about $30,000 today. When I heard that I thought, hmmmm clunk, clank, grind, sputter...( that's my brain working). That is in the ballpark of how much we are spending to bring Vanda into our family. It is out of the love we have received that has allowed us to open our hearts and family to this girl who needs a forever family. I would also say this is an example of extravagant love. We are just passing on what we have received.

Add caption

We have been Skyping Vanda many times over the last 2 weeks. She really looks forward to it as do we. It was great to see her giggle again. Here is a picture we snapped of her on Skype. We will start talking more of the adoption process with her, hopefully helping her start to make this big transition..

We are almost complete with our home-study which is our first milestone! After that we can start to apply for financial aid. Part of the process was for our older kids to write letters of support. We are impressed by their thoughtfulness. It is great to have their support! Alyssa is also excited about her new sister.

Speaking of support, we are studying more and learning more about the needs of adopted older children and we are reminded that it takes a community to raise a child, especially one adopted from a foreign country. We are grateful we have you as part of our support network!

Thankful and blessed,

Kirk & Beth

Prayers and perseverance

2010-08-15T22:38:00.001-04:00

Vanda, playing Beth's keyboard

We have started our home-study. This is a month long process of paperwork, yippee. We meet again with the social worker at the end of the month and hope to have all the needed paperwork for her so we can make this step and onto the others. An exciting part of the home-study was the lawyer in Latvia asking Vanda if she would like to be adopted. She said YES!! Now we long for the opportunity to talk with her on the phone but so far we have not been able to. I expect that is due to her spending time on the farm, 70 km from her home.

Our sermon today was on “Facing the impossible” We thought it was timely as we look towards this adoption. The last few weeks have been really hard, as I have been trying to help get the school’s technology ready for the first day of school. I have not stopped all summer. Weeee, what a ride! Or perhaps a marathon is a better description; we just need to keep on running, until we finish the race.

Another good part of the sermon was that we need to be both Humble and Honest with our situation before God. We humbly acknowledge that without God, we would not be able to tackle this calling to extend our family, but we are honest in saying it can be a bit overwhelming at this point in the game. The closing part of the sermon was a challenge to look for God to work in ways we don’t expect. Well, last year I did not expect my heart would be aching for our new 14 year old daughter. What’s up with girls tearing up a guy’s heart, anyway! We will also be looking for how God will accomplish the following prayers:

Prayer requests:

That we get the paperwork in as to not delay the process any more than necessary.
That we will complete our home-study by the month of August.
Organization of the tasks, so as to not miss any.
Fundraising.
Juggling these new demands with those of our 2 demanding jobs, my school, and our family.

As a closing, I’d like to share the following revelation: Love is truly an amazing thing. It can be stretched but does not get weaker; instead it gets stronger. I have found that in extending love to Vanda, the love in our family grows. It does not diminish the love we have for our existing children, but it actually strengthens it and reminds us of how precious love is. While this may not follow the rules of physics, it does follow the rules of our creator and savior. Christ’s love is amazing as He has extended his family to adopt us all!

Kirk & Beth,

Running the race set before us.

Leaving for Latvia

2010-08-01T22:38:00.002-04:00

Wow!
It is hard to summarize the last two days.

Best Friends, Last Walk

Yesterday was very hard as that is when we had to pack up Vanda. She kept saying “No Latvia” and was even defiant. That took all morning and then we had lunch and played at a park which was wonderful. We met a good friend and he brought gum (6 packs) for Vanda. That may sound silly, for us Americans who have more choices than we know what to do with, but American gum is a treat in East Europe. After, we came home and watched “Evan Almighty.” This is a good family film with lots of laughs and a good message about trusting in God. The day ended on a good note with prayers and a desire to trust in God for the future. We would love to tell Vanda about our plans to adopt but will not risk it (it could really crush her tender spirit) until we are more sure about the approval process. Besides it is a great opportunity to teach her how we trust in God and that she can too. (I happen to think God is a bit more reliable than me.)

Learning to Juggle

Today, Vanda could not wait to get up and was up at 6:00am giggling with Alyssa. It was easy to see she wanted to capture all she could of her time with us. She could have chosen despair but instead chose joy. A great lesson for me when I’m facing a day I would rather not face. Before leaving, Vanda wanted to walk Jenna one last time and she wanted to walk by herself. I think she wanted time to reflect and have Jenna all to herself.

The Latvian kids

Then it was time, time to leave for the airport. Vanda became understandably quiet and withdrawn. She was that way until Beth encouraged me to get her interacting. After we checked her suitcase for her three flights to Latvia, she asked for one more ride on my shoulders. I could not refuse. Another father followed suit as we proudly carried our orphans on our shoulders. Giving them the fatherly love they crave. We had to wait quite a while and to pass the time, we proceeded to play volleyball with a balled up napkin. Then I showed her juggling, and generally was silly and played with her. This is the way Vanda likes to connect: by doing. Words are not her favorite form of communication, something I can relate to sometimes. Her attitude was that of quiet hope. It was very precious and something to strife for.

Another Father and his orphan daughter

Then the hard part came. It was time to take our last pictures and say goodbye as they went through security. You could feel the tears some displayed more readily than others. Yet in the moment of separation, relationships were being strengthened. Another couple, who have no other children, were saying goodbye to another orphan girl they had really connected with. In that moment we could feel each other’s pain and the desire to support each other grew.

So the question is, “when shall we meet again?” the first step is to get our Home Study completed. Sometime this can take a week or two to set up but we were able to get an appointment tomorrow!

Many have asked what the steps are. Well I guess the first step is to figure out what the steps are!

Here is what we know:

Assemble a new prayer team.
Get busy and apply for grants.
Select an adoption agency.
Somewhere in the process we ask Vanda, right now we can't say anything. (Very hard for Beth)
..... Not sure the exact order from here. Paperwork, Travel, etc.
We are told that sometime on our first trip that we MAY be able to bring Vanda home then!

Peace and Hope

A hope-filled Family

Summer with Vanda

2010-07-30T23:40:00.000-04:00

What a summer this has been! When we started this process of hosting, we had said we would be open to what God had for us. If you stop and think about that statement, it can get rather scary. God does some crazy things with “ordinary” people (not that we consider ourselves ordinary). We are extremely thankful for one of our prayer partners willing to be real with us and share some concerns about adopting Vanda, per the

following:

Is this a good time? Can we swing this financially? Are we busy enough already?
Can adoptions hurt a marriage? What about the needs of our current children?
Beth has a stressful job and I am starting a new full time job as a teacher and still going to school.
What about the extra expenses of food, clothing, medical?

When we ask for prayer partners this is what we hope for, people to love us and tell us what they see.

I also had a member of our church tell us some of their experiences with a recent adoption and some possible problems similar to the above list. His final synopsis was something like "I don't know how any marriage can survive with any adoption if Christ is not at the center".

The other side of the scale is to look at Vanda. She is seeking a family and has been for 12 years. She was placed in an orphanage at age two. She is precious, loving, adventuresome, teachable, and is trusting God. Two years from now, she will age out of the system and be on her own to provide herself with food and shelter. Tell me, what can a 16-year-old girl do to provide for herself in an economically depressed country, one who enjoys drawing and doing puzzles? There are options but they are few and some lead to destructive ends. In spite of the years without parents to love and support her, she has maintained a sweet, although very quiet and reserved, disposition. During her time with us; she has connected with us, and seems willing to accept our parenting of her. Anyone can connect with Beth, but Vanda looks to me as well. (That itself is somewhat amazing.)

In my searching of scriptures, I found a lot about defending the fatherless, and seeing that they are cared for. Now that does not necessarily mean adopting orphans, but it is clear God want us to look after them, seeing that they are not neglected or taken advantage of. Here aer some of the verses I found. (all NIV)

Deuteronomy 10:18 - He defends the cause of the fatherless and the
widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing.

Deuteronomy 24:17 - Do not deprive the alien or the fatherless of justice…

Psalm 10:18 - defending the fatherless and the oppressed, in order
that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more.

Psalm 68:5 - A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God
in his holy dwelling.

Psalm 82:3 - Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the
rights of the poor and oppressed.

James 1:27 - Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and
faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress
and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

The last verse is what speaks loudest to us. We don’t have great finances to fund an adoption, and the events that have led Vanda here are amazing in and of themselves, truly God's leading and calling. We DO have some experience with teenagers having two homes (Brenden and Sarah); I am studying to be a teacher of teenagers, middle school at that, and the Community School of Davidson would be a perfect fit for her being a small school with special needs taken care of; and we have room in our hearts because of the love that Christ has given us. I hope you don’t mind my long way of saying we feel led to proceed with the adoption process for Vanda. Are we nervous? YES. Are we crazy? Perhaps. Are we trusting? YES!! The adoption process is long and costly and even uncertain. We will be applying for grants and donations and trusting that God will provide.

This is the wrap-up of our hosting adventure and on to an even greater adventure.

We will be asking for new prayer partners for our adoption process of Vanda. If you would like to join with us on this journey, please let us know, and I will add you to the list. Please see out Picasa site for pictures.

With joy in Christ,
Kirk and Beth, Alyssa

(Sarah has met Vanda via Skype, and Brenden has spent some time with us this summer as well)

Vanda, Week...I don't know

2010-07-15T22:56:00.000-04:00

OK so I have not posted an update in a while. Hmmm wonder what that means. It means life is full!

In pondering my seemingly perpetual state of activity I have been given the following thought:

Families who care about others are busy families. The need is great if we only look. Now granted, taking a full load of classes in the summer while starting a new job, may be overdoing it a bit. Regardless, I'm trying my best to figure out how to run the race before me. I have been sticking to my rule of no schoolwork on Sunday and that has helped. Enough about me, here is the good stuff.

We went to visit friends at the beach last weekend and everyone had fun. My fun at the beach was talking tech with our friend and buying a new Android phone! Now I just have to learn to use it! (There I go again, talking about myself, how boring! ) Initially Vanda was hesitant and unsure of the waves, thinking of the waves she saw on the west coast last year. Now she has seen both coasts! Not everyone has that experience. By the end of time at the beach Vanda loved running and playing in the waves. While she is quiet she is also adventuresome and inquisitive. Speaking of trying things, Vanda will try most all foods we fix at home but she is not a fan of fast food and would rather not eat than eat a McDonalds burger. She remains a quiet and sensitive girl and as her language skills improve we get to know more about her. Beth is a maniac with the camera and as a result I have plenty of good shots to choose from, the problem is in the choosing and sorting…..I'll post a few each week to the Picasa site. You may also want to check out the below link to see pictures of other orphans who are being hosted this summer. Photos being submitted by all host families: http://picasaweb.google.com/nhfcteam/2010SummerCandids?authkey=Gv1sRgCLWoo5rP3u3f-QE#

Our photos are at: http://picasaweb.google.com/Bleavins/VandaSummer2010#

If our adventure has piqued your interest in hosting or adopting, let me know. This group is good and offers hosting Christmas and Summer. They are not an adoption agency but a strong advocate for adoption.

Kirk

Dancing with the fireworks

2010-07-05T00:02:00.000-04:00

I have witnessed something few others have.

As we watched the fireworks blazing designs in the night sky and listened to the music being played with it, my eyes and heart beheld another beautiful sight. My daughter Alyssa dancing to and “directing” the fireworks display. I attempted to grab a picture but this is one of those events that no camera can capture: Watching your little girl pour her heart out into an expressive dance in the shadows of a rousing fireworks display.

Priceless.

Vanda - week 1

2010-07-04T23:28:00.000-04:00

Wow, Vanda has been here a week! What a great experience. I believe all of us have been touched in a very positive way with her visit, including the dog!

Our dog Jenna has never had so much attention! One of Vanda's chores is feeding Jenna. Vanda loves dogs and feeding her or any sort of interaction is something she enjoys.

Alyssa has enjoyed learning some Russian and having someone to do things with. She looks forward to waking her up in the mornings, and, in general, hanging around her all day.

Beth and Vanda make each other laugh and giggle like school girls (can you believe it, Beth acting as a school girl. :-) ). Vanda copies Beth's words and mannerism's and loves being around her. Beth also enjoys time with Vanda and has actually picked up about 10 Russian words. (Everyone laughs when I attempt to speak Russian)

I have introduced Vanda to Kayaking and we have gone many times. We enjoy doing puzzles together and playing in the water during our daily swimming. I enjoy the technical side of her and she may have a future in computers. While with me at the Community School, Vanda assembled 30 hard drives into computers! She was very focused and the other tech kids there (all boys) got about 1/4 as much done as she did. Vanda is very good with spatial puzzles and loves building with Knex. She is also very fast with solving Tangram puzzles and puts me to shame.

For the most part we have included Vanda in the activities of our family. Having a guest in our house helps us appreciate the simple things of our lives. We have gone swimming, played chess, bicycled around Davidson, celebrated Independance Day, and enjoyed games with the family.

The biggest challenge is the language, of course, but her English is good enough to communicate simple things and the computer can handle the rest. Vanda has a quiet and reserved nature and keeps to herself, especially around people she does not know. She has begun to test limits, as any teenager does, but also desires to please. I can't say she jumps at the chance to help around the house but when asked, she will willingly assist. Today she started saying "yes mam" as that is something we are working with Alyssa on.

As we were told in training, all orphans carry some emotional baggage with them. With Vanda it may take a while for that to be uncovered and dealt with.

This process has been, and I expect it to continue to be a blessing on our family.

We are thankful for the wonderful outpouring of support we have received from our church, friends, and neighbors. What a blessing.

Kirk & Beth

Vanda Day 3

2010-06-28T23:35:00.001-04:00

This is a great adventure. Each day we see positive changes. What a gift to be a part of!
Vanda loves swimming and loves puzzles! She is becoming more comfortable each day. I've started a Picasa Photo Album on line. See the sidebar.
The following is from Beth. My school work is dragging me down so I will have to simplify tonight:

Brenden was with us all weekend so she had brother Brenden and sister
Alyssa here with her, and we skyped sister Sarah who gave Vanda a
jumbo stuffed animal!
Vanda loves to imitate me, saying "ok, ok, alright, alright", giggling
all the while!
She loves swimming, bike riding, puzzles, Zingo, bananas, making
brownies with me, drawing and playing with Alyssa, and BTW, she is an
amazing artist (she drew a picture of her with Kirk going kayaking in
the double kayak!), her favorite sport is billiards, her hobbies are
knitting and drawing....she loves all vegetables and sweets!

Vanda Day 2

2010-06-27T21:55:00.000-04:00

Everyone (except me, I went early to church) slept in, had waffles, and then Beth and the kids came to the 10:30 church service. Vanda did well for being in a strange place in a foreign language. Towards the end of the service I made a paper puppet to entertain her. Beth was great about getting Vanda connected to others. After church, lunch and then we played some fun family games. The games helped with her transition and brought many smiles. We spent from 3:30 to7:00 at the lake as part of a neighborhood party. Vanda loves swimming as much as our little fish Alyssa. In addition we went for many Kayak rides and now Vanda has a new hobby: Kayaking. Everyone had some journaling time before bedtime. A full day, but not too full. Beth note: The one shirt Vanda brought matches one Alyssa has! See photo.

Vanda Arrives!

2010-06-26T23:12:00.002-04:00

Vanda and company arrived safe and sound. There was much excitement at the airport as families waited for the kids to arrive. Our son Brenden (19) came up to spend the weekend with us and help us celebrate Vanda’s arrival. He was very interested in learning more about the language and was helpful in finding translation web sites.

Communication is interesting, as she knows just a little English and we are just starting to attempt to understand Russian or Latvian. While her native language is Latvian, she prefers Russian. We did learn that she attends a Polish school in Latvia where the primary language is Russian. On top of that, I started to respond to her in the only other language I know, Spanish! OK, I’m starting to get confused again, too many languages going on here.

We are thankful for the numerous website out there which offer translation. We put together a simple schedule for tomorrow and used the online translator to convert it to Russian. To think we ever existed without computers. J

When we arrived home, after a quick tour of the house, we all celebrated with some ice cream! Good common ground. Vanda and our dog Jenna hit it off very well and I expect Jenna to become even more spoiled. After I cream Alyssa went to bed. Beth, Brenden, and I had a few moments with Vanda as she looked over a Science book, written in Russian, a good friend had brought us. She really enjoyed looking at the book. At the same time, we are learning a bit about her, Brenden was using his laptop and trying out some phrases. This was a good time and I think she started to settle in. Vanda is initially quiet and very sweet. We look forward to getting to know her more over the next few weeks.

Beth, Vanda, Brenden, Alyssa, Kirk

I Am

2010-06-02T20:34:00.002-04:00

I Am
I am the light: seekers searching and watchers waiting.
I am the empty darkness:
Subsiding, surrendered.
I am the rising sun: humbling and quieting.
I am the blowing breeze:
Changing, connecting.
I am the rising sun: unceasing and revealing.
I am the still water:
Reflecting, resourceful.
I am the rising sun: inviting and reaching.
I am the changing colors:
Promising, purposeful.
I am the rising sun: sharing and growing.
I am the lofty clouds:
Moving, majesty.
I am the rising sun: offering and strengthening.
I am the coming light:
Inviting, unmatched
I am the Sunrise,
I am what I am.
K. Bleavins 2010

Life is like...

2010-05-21T13:37:00.002-04:00

Life

Life is like a sailboat. You just need to put up your sails, stick a rudder in the water and see where the adventure takes you. God is like the wind that fills your sails, provides the strength for the journey, and is there with you on the adventure.

Life is like a package. We are all given a unique package to open. We are not told what is in it, but our task is to discover it day by day. Many times, even most times, we need others to help with unwrapping of this precious gift. It is not a jack-in-the–box that jumps out, but one that, emerges over time.

Life costs. There is pain, troubles, obstacles. It should be expected that there is a cost to something as precious as a life. By embracing life, we can enjoy the journey, even laugh a bit along the way.

Life is like driving a car a night, you only see a few feet in front of you. You can’t see the destination or all the events you pass in the darkness, but you do arrive at your destination by following the road before you.

In our search for this life we must be careful to not become blinded to the needs of others and miss the opportunity to help another life, to offer a word of hope, of comfort, to laugh, or smile, or even cry with them in the darkness. Our life is part of the gift we all have, that is meant to be offered to others. This is love.

Thirsty?

2010-03-21T23:04:00.001-04:00

Don’t ignore your Thirst!

Obey your thirst!

"If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." John 7:37b-38

Let's Play

2010-03-18T21:38:00.000-04:00

Let’s Play

They say it is the best way to play,

Much better than today.

Play tug a rope,

It will break without hope.

Play tag and don’t get hit,

You are always it.

Play Ping-Pong,

You are the ball too long.

Play telephone,

But there is no one home.

Play hide and seek without a sound,

For you are not found.

Play a different game,

There are no rules and it is all the same.

Hey kids, want to play divorce?

It is for the best, of course.

First Date

2010-02-06T22:12:00.003-05:00

My 5 year old daughter and I are dressed in our finest. She in a princess white dress, I in a suit and tie. As we enter the building she sees a decorated archway and other young girls all dressed up for the evening with their favorite guy. Unknowingly, she begins to walk on her toes; in her mind she is walking on air. It is an attempt to be big enough to contain all the excitement of the occasion. Before entering the “dance hall” we stand in line to get our picture taken. As we wait, she is in constant motion looking for her friends. We smile pretty for the camera and then we walk back up the line that has grown in length from when we arrived. As we do, you can feel the excitement of all the girls as they admire each other’s formal attire. The excitement from the girls is not to be contained.

The gymnasium has been transformed into a dance hall. There is a live DJ standing on the dimly lit stage. The music is playing and there are multi-colored lights spreading patterns of color across the floor. White Christmas lights have been hung across the room providing an almost magical ambiance to the room. There are chairs around the room, currently unoccupied. At the far end of the room is a long table full of treats and refreshments.

As we enter, the music engages her feet and we dance. We are not alone; by the second, more proud fathers enter hand in hand with their princesses. Before long, the room is filled with people, music, dancing and that special relationship that exists between a father and his daughter. LOVE

My daughter is now in bed and I am trying to capture this special moment in time. It is a special event to go on your first date. It may blur in her memories but I think it will remain in mine. Her little body is tired, yet she is having a hard time winding down from the excitement of the evening. The cough she has had the last couple of nights does not help with getting to sleep.

Now I hear her calling for mommy, probably still having trouble going to sleep. What’s that? You need help? Oh no! We are now seeing a different kind of memory. The memory of what she had eaten: the cookies, the cheeseburger, the fries (all from our very special dinner at McDonalds before the dance, her choice of course) are all having an encore performance. Further proof she had too much fun!

Children have this wonderful ability to help us keep life on the real side. We need to embrace it. Does throwing up detract from my princess’s experience? No. It will be the same for me; actually, it makes the memory much better. Keeping it real!